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Bad GOOP Advice

Dear Gwyneth Paltrow, Did the District Attorney Bring Their A game?

Dear Gwyneth Paltrow,

Once upon a time (okay, last year) you said that anyone who was going to fuck with you had better bring their A game. This, I was led to believe, was a response to concerns that I and others had raised about the quality of the advice and value of the products that you sell on GOOP.

However, hearing about the $145,000 settlement that GOOP was required to pay because you lied about the benefits of jade eggs, quartz eggs and an essential oil spray brought those words rushing back.

Did the government bring its A game and did you reply with yours?

I know the money is likely less than your annual budget for vagina steaming and pocket change for a company that claims to be worth $250 million, then again you and your company claimed jade eggs are recharged with energy from the moon and can “balance” hormones and that raw goat’s milk is a cure for nonexistent parasites. Hopefully, you backed up your financial claims with more hard data than your claims about the efficacy of a jade egg practice or the rectal administration of coffee.

But I digress.

I wondered if the lawsuit was a surprise for you or if your medium had warned you about it so you could be prepared? After all, she is a research medium. Or do your mediums just bring medical diagnoses and love back from the great beyond and not legal advice? But seriously, if a ghost can diagnose a person when the medical profession fails shouldn’t they also know when a District Attorney is building a case against you?

The money with the settlement doesn’t seem to me to be the big point, the real meat of the deal is that GOOP is prohibited from “making any claims regarding the efficacy or effects” of any of the products that you sell that are not backed by
“competent and reliable scientific evidence.”

I’m going to stock up on popcorn today.

When I called you out for these same unscientific claims you called me strangely confident. You also said,

There is so much that we do not know. It is unfortunate that there are some who seem to believe that they already know it all, who prejudge information before they have even taken the time to read or understand it..

Did you tell the DA they were strangely confident, insufferable know-it-alls as well?

Did you tell the lawyers that they hadn’t taken the time to read and really understand the deep thoughts on jade eggs and lunar energy written by a jade eggthusiast and woman who has a certificate in healing from an institute that she founded? What is a medical degree and a residency and a fellowship anyway against such knowledge?

I wonder if you accused me of not taking “the time to read or understand” — basically of being underprepared and ill-researched — because that is what you do at GOOP. You package shit, make up some new age words, and market, market, market, market. Very Trumpian for you to project your own faults onto me.

It probably shocks you to know, mostly because I suspect no one at GOOP has ever read more than the first paragraph of anything I have written, but I have researched every piece of your medical fuckery. I even contacted the Museum of Military Medicine in the U.K. and a historian who specializes in military medicine to fact check your choice bullshit on coffee enemas.

Look sister, you can feign shock or claim you were just having a conversation, or cry that you are misunderstood just like Galileo, but you can only say the dog ate your homework so many times before you have to start showing some proof. As a nerd I’ve seen all the excuses in class.

When you claim that bras cause breast cancer, or that coffee enemas are a thing, or that supplements can cure the totally fucking non existent patriarchal bullshit that is post natal depletion, or that jade eggs balance hormones, or that tampons have toxins you are a predator. You are weaponizing fears for page clicks and profit.

You claim that medicine is ignoring women, and while it is true there are many gaps in medicine you are not filling them, you are exploiting them by offering expensive bullshit and fake ideas about health and passing it off as care and conversations. And if women have concerns, well, they can call 1-844-WTF-GOOP between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. EST.

No person interested in helping women brags that their number is WTF.

Now I know the people who have the power to hold you accountable read what I write. Hopefully they will also be looking at the supplements sold by the various functional medicine doctors and naturopaths you so love to quote.

I’m going to keep on plugging away when I see garbage medicine (sorry, conversations) on your website. I do this because no woman ever profited from misinformation about her health.

Scratch that, there are some women who profit. You and your gal pals at GOOP.

Until next time,
Dr. Jen Gunter MD, FRCS(C), FACOG, DABPM, ABPMR (pain)
P.S. Have at it with the furniture venture, just don’t come up with a bespoke wooden vagina steaming throne. If you do, I can count on the Internet to tell me.


***To the people angry that I am not allowing your comments about jade eggs being an “ancient” therapy that is “5,000 years old. Prove it and I will post your comments. That is how science works. If it was as well-known as you claim in Ancient China I look forward to reading your references.   xoxo Jen ***

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46 thoughts on “Dear Gwyneth Paltrow, Did the District Attorney Bring Their A game?

  1. Dr. Gunter

    Thank you for your very hard work.

    Voice of reason in this insane media blinded belief in star power…..

    Thank you and best regards.

    George Lyons

    (Support Free Thought) – Four years have now elapsed since New York City Police Officer Daniel Pantaleo choked Eric Garner to death for the apparently egregious crime of selling loose cigarettes — but the only one related to the case who faced any punishment so far for what many believe to be a cold-blooded murder is the man who filmed it.
    In October of 2016, Ramsey Orta — the man who filmed Pantaleo choke the life from Garner — was sentenced to four years in prison for drugs and gun charges that were conveniently brought against him after he became famous for taking the video that fateful day.

    Posted by George Lyons | September 6, 2018, 8:22 am
  2. I cannot begin to say how much I love this post.

    Posted by Fintan Steele | September 6, 2018, 8:34 am
  3. Wowza!! ! Fantastic! I love that you are going for the jugular because you should. Unfortunately she’s not the only one that promotes this kind of bullshit (summer vagina anyone?) But she is one of the most toxic of the group. Hopefully this will start a trend to slow down this dangerous surge of misinformation and made up antifeminist “health“ crap.

    Posted by fabulouslawrencesisters | September 6, 2018, 8:39 am
  4. Thank you and much love to you for calling out all the crap!

    Posted by Dianna | September 6, 2018, 8:57 am
  5. Snap! That was a fun read.

    Posted by Skeptico | September 6, 2018, 9:15 am
  6. Yeah sister!

    Posted by Lisa R. | September 6, 2018, 9:25 am
  7. I have been waiting to see this post…I saw the headline today and just KNEW there would be a response. LOVE it. Thank you for being so honest & up front! You are a doctor we can trust.

    Posted by Megan M Lendo | September 6, 2018, 9:34 am
  8. She could have started a honest business in home decorations, but things like that simply don’t sell as well, as everything under the label of “wellness”. Every decision people like her make is motivated by making as much money, while doing as little as possible. Thank you for debunking all of that fake science!

    Posted by neverwintersand | September 6, 2018, 9:52 am
  9. I believe the appropriate response is “Bam!!” Also thank you, and well done

    Posted by Nina | September 6, 2018, 10:28 am
  10. I love your post! Bam! is so correct. She has no medical degree, nor does it appear does anyone associated with “Goop”…exploiting women is NOT acceptable…it is enough to be able for so many women to get real, factual medical care for serious conditions from cancer to hormones and more. This is not “wellness” nor anything close to it…this is pure greed and fiction. Keep calling her out each and every time she comes up with this crap!

    Posted by Vicki Hopkins | September 6, 2018, 11:32 am
  11. I can’t like this post enough

    Posted by Ann-Marie | September 6, 2018, 11:40 am
  12. Your jade egg and GOOP analyses are eggscellent!

    Posted by Kevin Stecyk | September 6, 2018, 12:24 pm
  13. Thank you and keep going.

    Posted by Fiona | September 6, 2018, 12:32 pm
  14. The bliss of schadenfreude

    Posted by geekgirlau | September 6, 2018, 3:32 pm
  15. This is wonderful! I wish I could enjoy this more, but your comment about the risk that pseudoscience like this has on people who need scientifically proven medical therapies (not shoving pebbles and comestibles into various openings on the body) makes me sad, because this seems to go far beyond the deluded and into the realm of profiting from others harm and suffering. I’d recommend Paltrow stick her jade eggs where the sun don’t shine, but…

    Posted by blazeofobscurity | September 6, 2018, 4:04 pm
  16. She’s a snake oil salesperson, a very attractive snake oil salesperson, but one none the less. Dear Gwyneth, why don’t you stick to acting, you’re actually fairly good at that?

    Posted by Peter Benson | September 6, 2018, 4:57 pm
  17. This made my day!

    Posted by Catherine Voutier | September 6, 2018, 6:05 pm
  18. Seriously, XOXO Jen. We love you.

    Posted by palfreyman1414 | September 6, 2018, 7:45 pm
  19. Dr G. You are the BEST

    Posted by Amy Oliver esq | September 6, 2018, 9:09 pm
  20. Thank god somebody is fact checking this nonsense and calling the bullshit as it is! Good work Dr. Gunter!

    Posted by Jennifer Bailey | September 7, 2018, 1:55 am
  21. I like CB2 – but when I saw her in their last catalog, I gagged and threw it in the trash. Thanks for keeping on it!

    Posted by jen | September 7, 2018, 8:05 am
  22. We need more people like you to stop the madness.
    Thank you.

    Posted by Ainsobriety | September 7, 2018, 8:54 am
  23. BOOM. Amazing article! Thank you for telling it like it is.

    Posted by Theresa | September 7, 2018, 9:37 am
  24. This is SUCH good news. Thank you.

    Posted by Ellie | September 7, 2018, 9:55 am
  25. Seriously could never believe people take Palrow’s faux remedies seriously. Thanks for continuing to provide science-based facts!

    Posted by Jeri Schroeder | September 7, 2018, 10:07 am
  26. Jen Gunter you are my hero…drop the mic!

    Posted by Anita swamy | September 7, 2018, 9:11 pm
  27. First of all thank you for your service in contributing to put Goop back to where it belongs; the Body Shop (TM).

    And now to CATS; they are obligate carnivores. They require the converted nutrients of their prey. The reason they eat grass (and they do not even have the molars to grind it down), is to help pass the hair they ingest when they groom, they also cannot spit so usually it ends up as a trichobezoar (hairball) being vomited up.

    Posted by Antares | September 8, 2018, 2:33 am
      • What you do and I may have mentioned it previously is so important, now more than ever in our life time and I am concerned that it will get worse with P.

        What happened in the pet industry is now happening in the science and particularly the medical field. Marketing and an anti-science movement; cats on vegan and raw diets.

        Cats lack the ability to produce an amino acid that most other mammals do. (I can’t recall which). People watch this behavior and assume that they crave plants. They don’t, they can neither digest nor absorb plant material. In fact, since it’s instinctual many house plants like lilies are extremely toxic to them. They cannot taste anything sweet because natural selection never intended for them to eat fruit.

        This is relevant to your comments on naturopathy; to compare mammalian physiology and biochemistry completely different to ours and to imitate any part of their diet or that of other mammals is ludicrous and dangerous.

        Posted by Antares | September 8, 2018, 5:14 pm
  28. Reblogged this on Dead Wild Roses and commented:
    Jade ‘egg’ in the Vagina and other woo-based remedies, one step back.

    Posted by The Arbourist | September 8, 2018, 7:03 am
  29. How did I only just realise I don’t have to register or do some mystical dance to comment here?

    Dr. Gunter, your lucid, study-backed, fire-and-brimstone blogging is a beautiful thing. I adore what you do hear, I am grateful for it, and I have quoted and cross-posted you a dozen times a dozen since I found this blog a month ago. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Posted by Wendy | September 8, 2018, 11:21 am
  30. *here
    I meant what you do HERE.

    Posted by Wendy | September 8, 2018, 11:27 am
  31. Well done! I’ll keep my eye out for the bespoke wooden vagina steaming throne. Wouldn’t put it past them to try it.

    Posted by TexasTrailerParkTrash | September 8, 2018, 7:47 pm
  32. Right after I posted it I read your placentaphagia article. Years ago I was asked to write an educational article on cat physiology, although not my field because I was in the sciences. Turns out they were correct, by the end I knew more than veterinarians. Never thought it would become relevant.

    After discovering some time ago that certain scientific words should no longer be used. (soil erosion instead of climate change). I saw an article today that acute and renal should be replaced with other words. Angry. If we don’t “fight” this is heading into a dumbification era.

    Posted by Antares | September 8, 2018, 9:02 pm
  33. Well said and hilarious to read.. the best stance to take against trash miniupulative deceitful scum .. bravo.. my new favourite person .. ❤️

    Posted by Atoosa Hariri | September 8, 2018, 10:11 pm
  34. OMG I love you. Thank you for being an insistent voice of reason and science. The fight against woo continues…

    Posted by shelleywatsonburch | September 9, 2018, 8:51 am
  35. I was thoroughly entertained by this article. I always thought Gwen was full of herself but this takes the cake. Thank goodness someone drew against her.

    Posted by Donna McBroom-Theriot | September 9, 2018, 10:12 am
  36. Bravo.

    Posted by David Balashinsky | September 9, 2018, 10:54 am
  37. Dr. Hunter,
    While I roll my eyes all the time when I read or hear about all the “medical fuckery” on the internet, you did something about it and I thank you! I agree that no woman has ever profited from misinformation about her health, and it’s so very difficult in the office to try to correct that misinformation. You are so right on! ❤️

    Posted by Sherry Paulson | September 9, 2018, 1:47 pm
  38. She finishes reading and starts to slow clap in front of the computer.

    Bravo! Well done!

    Posted by Susan | September 9, 2018, 6:10 pm
  39. *standing ovation*

    Posted by Shawna Burt | September 12, 2018, 2:03 am
  40. Dr Jen ..I LOVE YOU! I applaud you! Another great article putting gOOpy Gwyn and her never-ending B.S in her place 🙂

    Posted by Kim | September 12, 2018, 9:46 pm
  41. Thank you Dr. Gunter! Your hard work, intelligence and fact based arguments are enormously appreciated…. and so is your wit! You are widely read here in Edmonton, we have a hellish good time reading you take down of snake oil nonsense!

    Posted by S | September 13, 2018, 5:06 pm
  42. Thank you so much for your blog. You do great work.

    Posted by adam | September 14, 2018, 11:04 am

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