Gwyneth Paltrow is not content with spreading her quasi-medical trumpery via her website. Our lady of the perpetually worried well is bringing her deathly fear of non-existent toxins and chic chicanery live to Los Angeles with an event called In goop health. There for a price ranging from $500-$1,500 (depends how close one wants to get to the epicenter of woo herself) one can find a floral salve for whatever ails one (?), have one’s aura photographed (??), or indulge in a cellular level sound bath (???).
In looking through the events, all designed to detoxify and cleanse of course, I found this gem.
Yes, the idea of getting so wasted that you need an intravenous to recover is being promoted as an attraction at a so-called wellness event. Nothing says we care about your health and really understand medicine more than “Go ahead, get so shit faced that you wake up with the mother of all hangovers, we’ll top you up with an intravenous.” GOOP should just go full Paltrow and give up the pretense and sell a line of supplements called Irony.
Let’s be very clear about this, alcohol is a poison. If you drink so much that you are hung over the next day your alcohol level was at least 0.1%, which means you were too drunk to drive. While some of a hangover may be dehydration most of that brain pain is because the toxic amount of alcohol you ingested caused temporary inflammation in your brain and fucked up your neurotransmitters. No one should be promoting this amount of alcohol ingestion, especially not someone who claims to care about your health and appears to have a paranoia about inflammation.
The woman who is so afraid of fake toxins is actually promoting a real one and an inflammatory one at that. Alcohol is also carcinogenic and harms the liver, but Paltrow and GOOP either don’t know or don’t care. Not only is binge-drinking recovery a featured event at her swellness event (God knows what supposed anti inflammatory swill might be in the intravenous) there’s a cocktail party with Gwyneth if you pay enough (and so many have shelled out the cash that those levels have sold out). Don’t get me wrong, I like a cocktail or glass of wine, but I’m not shilling fear of toxins for cash or promoting drinking to the point of serious intoxication. The irony and the gall of frightening women about non-existent toxins lurking in tampons or bras while not just promoting alcohol but toxic amounts of alcohol is maddening and disgusting. But that is GOOP’s brand of medicine, fuck science because it gets in the way of cash.
I wonder which of the medical “talent” attending the event signed off on this Intravenous therapy because to administer anything intravenous in California you need an order from a medical professional such as a doctor or nurse practitioner or nurse anesthetist or (sigh) a naturopath. But someone has to be writing the order. A nurse can place the intravenous, but whatever is actually administered requires an order from someone else and that someone else is not Gwyneth Paltrow or Lena Dunham.
In goop health is no different from anything else Paltrow peddles, a bastardization of medicine for cash.