you're reading...
Bad GOOP Advice, period

Dear Gwyneth Paltrow, I’m a GYN and your vaginal jade eggs are a bad idea

Dear Ms. Paltrow,

I’ve been reading all about the jade eggs you are selling on GOOP for $55-66 a pop and the corresponding interview with a jade egg enthusiast. I have tried not to respond to this hot mess, after all a man who leers at naked 15 year-olds and brags about sexual assault is about to assume the highest office in the land. Quite frankly women have more compelling health interests right now, however, I have been asked by so many people about your vaginal rocks that I felt it necessary to drop you a line.

I read the post on GOOP and all I can tell you is it is the biggest load of garbage I have read on your site since vaginal steaming. It’s even worse than claiming bras cause cancer. But hey, you aren’t one to let facts get in the way of profiting from snake oil.

My issue begins with the very start of your post on jade eggs specifically that “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors.” Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man! And then the claim that they can balance hormones is, quite simply, biologically impossible. Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones. As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!? How does one test for it? Organically sourced, fair trade urine pH sticks coming soon to GOOP for $77 I presume?

Screen Shot 2017-01-17 at 2.53.45 PM.png

If the word for womb is yoni I hate to break it to you, but the uterus and vagina are different structures. If you are using the Sanskrit, while I admit I am no language scholar, it seems that yoni means the entire female reproductive tract and you should say that. Terminology aside, the vulva, vagina, cervix, and uterus are not intuition repositories and neither are they sources of “power” or “wisdom.” If fact, I find that assertion insulting. Do you really mean a woman who does not have a uterus is less effective? Is a woman without a vagina less intelligent?  Is a woman who had a vulvectomy due to cancer less creative?

 

As for the recommendation that women sleep with a jade egg in their vaginas I would like to point out that jade is porous which could allow bacteria to get inside and so the egg could act like a fomite. This is not good, in case you were wondering. It could be a risk factor for bacterial vaginosis or even the potentially deadly toxic shock syndrome.

Regarding the suggestion to wear the jade egg while walking around, well, I would like to point out that your pelvic floor muscles are not meant to contract continuously. In fact, it is quite difficult to isolate your pelvic floor while walking so many women could actually clench other muscles to keep the egg inside. It is possible the pained expression of clenching your butt all day could be what is leading people to stare, not some energy glow.

Overenthusiastic Kegel exercises or incorrectly done Kegel exercises are a cause of pelvic pain and pain with sex in my practice. Imagine how your biceps muscle (and then your shoulders and then your back) might feel if you walked around all day flexed holding a barbell? Right, now imagine your pelvic floor muscles doing this.

For women who want to use a device to help with Kegel exercises I suggest using weights made with medical grade silicone or plastic and to not wear them for long periods of time. Kegel exercises are not just about the contraction, the relaxation phase is just as important.

The only thing your post got right is to check with your doctor before using one. So let me give you some free advice, don’t use vaginal jade eggs.

Until next time,

 

Jen

Screen Shot 2017-01-17 at 3.07.13 PM.png

Discussion

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: No, Gwyneth Paltrow, women should not put jade eggs in their … – Washington Post | Seo DSC - January 22, 2017

  2. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘vagina eggs’ | IowaDawg's Very Own Blawg - January 22, 2017

  3. Pingback: No, Gwyneth Paltrow, women should not put jade eggs in their vaginas, gynecologist says – Washington Post | E-Radio.US - January 22, 2017

  4. Pingback: No, Gwyneth Paltrow, women should not put jade eggs in their vaginas, gynecologist says - Womens Health Blog - January 22, 2017

  5. Pingback: No, Gwyneth Paltrow, women should not put jade eggs in their vaginas, gynecologist says – Washington Post | Quick News Update Everyday - January 22, 2017

  6. Pingback: No, Gwyneth Paltrow, women should not put jade eggs in their vaginas, gynecologist says – Washington Post – Medical Tips Online - January 23, 2017

  7. Pingback: Let’s call Gwyneth Paltrow’s jade eggs for vaginas what they are: Goopshit – Blog 5 star - January 23, 2017

  8. Pingback: Gynaecologist berates Gwyneth Patrow's Goop for advocating women put stone eggs into their vaginas | ReportNews - January 23, 2017

  9. Pingback: Let’s call Gwyneth Paltrow’s jade eggs for vaginas what they are: Goopshit – Sham Press – The latest news and headlines 24/7 - January 23, 2017

  10. Pingback: Let’s call Gwyneth Paltrow’s jade eggs for vaginas what they are: Goopshit | BLABLA.id NEWS - January 23, 2017

  11. Pingback: Kurioser Gesundheitstipp – Frauenärztin reagiert entsetzt über Gwyneth Paltrows Jade-Eier für die Vagina – BananenRepublik.org - January 23, 2017

  12. Pingback: Don’t Put This in Your Vagina, Doctors Say – Yahoo News | | All Breaking News - January 23, 2017

  13. Pingback: Doctor: No, DON'T Put Jade Eggs In Your Vagina - Sparta Report - January 23, 2017

  14. Pingback: La bufala di Gwyneth Paltrow. L’uovo vaginale in giada – Scienza @ Magia - January 23, 2017

  15. Pingback: You’ve Been Gooped – With Love, - January 24, 2017

  16. Pingback: Feminism and the ’empowerment’ of idiocy – LILES FILES - January 24, 2017

  17. Pingback: Feminism and the 'empowerment' of idiocy – WELCOME TO THE NEWSBLASTER - January 24, 2017

  18. Pingback: Feminism and the ’empowerment’ of idiocy - January 24, 2017

  19. Pingback: Feminism and the ’empowerment’ of idiocy – The Trumpiest - January 24, 2017

  20. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow’s Latest Idea to Help Boost Orgasms Draws Health Warnings - January 25, 2017

  21. Pingback: Let’s call Gwyneth Paltrow’s jade eggs for vaginas what they are: Goopshit | Alt Left Press - January 25, 2017

  22. Pingback: Links 1/25/17 | Mike the Mad Biologist - January 25, 2017

  23. Pingback: Frauenärzte sind wütend auf Gwyneth Paltrow – aus einem guten Grund | Aktuelle Nachrichten - January 26, 2017

  24. Pingback: Goop Suggests Prada Flashlight for Valentine’s Day Gift – Méli Mélo - January 26, 2017

  25. Pingback: Goop Suggests Prada Flashlight for Valentine’s Day Gift – La Vie du Luxe - January 26, 2017

  26. Pingback: Don't put Gwyneth Paltrow's jade eggs anywhere near your private parts - January 27, 2017

  27. Pingback: Fooxee » Awesome and vixxy!Goop Suggests Prada Flashlight for Valentine’s Day Gift - Fooxee - January 29, 2017

  28. Pingback: Now we must all be like Daphnis | Leftist Voice - January 30, 2017

  29. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow talks up the Jade Egg AND your free video - Getting Naked - January 31, 2017

  30. Pingback: Gynecologists Warn Against Jade Eggs Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Website Recommends For Women's Vagina - TechTrend - February 4, 2017

  31. Pingback: Warum Gwyneth Paltrows Jade-Eier für die Vagina keine gute Idee sind - February 7, 2017

  32. Pingback: Ever Steeped Your Dong In Coffee?: 5 Goofy Sex Products | Newstories - February 18, 2017

  33. Pingback: Pussies, Vajayays and Yonis, oh my! - February 22, 2017

  34. Pingback: Jade Eggs - Not all they're cracked up to be - February 28, 2017

  35. Pingback: The Mystical Orient and Jade Eggs Up Your Hoo-Ha | A Banana Peeled - March 2, 2017

  36. Pingback: No te metas (con) las piedras vaginales de Gwyneth Paltrow | ERIZOS - March 3, 2017

  37. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Buy a $90 Cure For a Disease You Don’t Have | The New Peoples Almanac - March 22, 2017

  38. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Buy a $90 Cure For a Disease You Don’t Have « Fribliss - March 22, 2017

  39. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Buy a $90 Cure For a Disease You Don’t Have – Employeepal - March 22, 2017

  40. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Buy a $90 Cure For a Disease You Don’t Have - Developerspal - March 22, 2017

  41. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Buy a $90 Cure For a Disease You Don’t Have – Plateidea - March 22, 2017

  42. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Buy a $90 Cure For a Disease You Don’t Have | Modern Gizmo - March 23, 2017

  43. Pingback: Thursday Link Roundup – SFGeekGirl - March 27, 2017

  44. Pingback: The Microbiome and human health – MicrobeBlog - March 29, 2017

  45. Pingback: 5 Gross Products For Your Nether Hygiene - Fishkia - March 29, 2017

  46. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP hatch limited edition vaginal Easter eggs | Dr. Jen Gunter - April 1, 2017

  47. Pingback: “Vaginal Kung Fu” could injure your vagina | Dr. Jen Gunter - May 2, 2017

  48. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP still want you to put a jade egg in your vagina. It’s still a bad idea. | Dr. Jen Gunter - May 11, 2017

Recent Tweets

%d bloggers like this: