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sex, STDs

How many sex partners do people really have?

What do you think is high number of sexual partners?

Two? Eight? Not being able to count on your fingers and toes?

We talk a lot about the number of sex partners in the world of STDs, because sexually transmitted infections are a numbers game. The more partners you have, the more potential exposures. And the more potential exposures, the greater the risk of infection and all the sequelae that comes along as a parting gift. For example, we know that oral sex with 6 or more partners results in an 8-fold increases in the risk of oral cancer.

The National Health Statistics Reports (Published March 2011) gives us the answers about the number of sex partners for Americans ages 15-44, although why they stop at 44 I don’t know. I mean people do get divorced at 45 (ahem) and might possibly start dating again. I’m just saying.

The latest report uses data from the 2006–2008 National Survey of Family Growth. The answers are collected through in-person interviews with over 13,000 men and women. The data are collected using audio computer-assisted self interviewing, so the person being surveyed enters answers into the computer without revealing their responses to an interviewer. This method of responding hopefully eliminates (or at least limits) the need to artificially inflate or decrease the number of sex partners based on concerns over reporting real numbers to a live interviewer. The survey has a pretty high response rate: 75%.

The data for opposite sex partners ages 15 to 44 are as follows:

The median number of opposite sex partners for women is 3.2 and 5.1 for men.

88.7% of women have been sexually active with an opposite sex partner and 88.6% for men.

And for the highest number of partners in the study, 8.3% of women and 21.4% of men have had 15 or more partners. While the number of sex partners increased with age, by the age of 24 more than 14% of men and 7 % of women have had 15 or more sex partners.

One interesting demographic for both men and women, is the group most likely to have the highest number of partners (15 or more) are those who have previously been married and are not currently cohabiting, i.e. divorced and dating. While some of that may be a reflection of age, it is hard to know if other factors are also involved (the study simply addressed numbers, not the “why”).

Interesting stats for sure.

I’ll be posting throughout the next week with other interesting sexual demographics from this data set.

What do you think is a high number of sex partners?

Discussion

236 thoughts on “How many sex partners do people really have?

  1. First of all, I think it is important to remember we are all different in all aspects and some of these comments directed at the more promiscuous posters are pretty judgmental. Some people are really into sex and don’t have traditional mores regarding sex; therefore, by dint of that, they’re probably going to be sleeping around a lot more depending on their accessability to sex/ability to attract sex partners. Sex drive, morals and being female (or a male able to attract sex partners) are 3 major factors that make everyone posting here different and if the sex is consentual I think judgmental comments are myopic and narrow.

    That being said, I think the reported numbers are very, very low, most people are seriously low balling their numbers. I had vaginal sex with maybe 6 women in my 20s. I’ve had sex with at least 100 (like probably about 120) in my 30s. I don’t even think that’s a particularly high number, that’s like 10 a year or less than 1 a month. For me sex is probably my favorite thing to do on the planet (and one of the economically cheapest things to do) and so I find women online who are like minded and don’t want a serious relationship. I have a very, very high sex drive, I think sex is a natural bodily function and have no moral qualms about having sex as long as it’s consentual and I’ve been honest about my intentions. And because I’m attractive with a nice build and a good online reputation as being good in bed, I get more opportunities than most men and I take advantage of that. Naturally, I’m going to have a higher number, I don’t understand why I would be judged in light of all I wrote above.

    Posted by Alex | August 12, 2014, 7:25 pm
    • hahaha, too funny. I literally laughed out loud after reading the statement,”…good online reputation as being good in bed, I get more opportunities than most men…” hahaha, just laughed again. Think much of yourself??? How pitiful that you troll websites looking for hookups and to see what the women are saying about you in bed. I, myself, have been told I am the best ever had, but don’t feel the need to share that “prize” with anything that has a hard dick. Yuck! It takes some Low self-esteem when a person boasts that online women are bragging about his prowess.

      Posted by JOKESTER | August 18, 2014, 5:29 pm
      • LOL, why is it pathetic that I go online to meet up with women? And why does sharing my experiences here equate to my having low self-esteem? Why is my referring to being good in bed an indication of low self esteem when it’s me but heroic or admirable when you do it in your own self-congratulatory manner. Just because you don’t like what I’m saying doesn’t mean I have low self esteem, sorry my good times bother you,lol I’m not asking for your permission I just live my life how I prefer to without having to pander to judgmental control freak hypocrites like yourself.

        Posted by Alex | June 22, 2015, 7:28 pm
  2. I just turned 20 and i’ve never even kissed. It’s remarkable how peoples lives can be so different.

    Posted by 123 | August 29, 2014, 5:23 pm
    • I can not understand how people can sleep with 100+ people, it’s just… insane to me. It makes no sense, what type of idiot would sleep with that many people? What are you trying to accomplish, are you trying to beat the world record? Like, what the hell is sex to them? Just a way to have fun? Just a way to meet new people? Their lust is too high, I wouldn’t sleep with a girl of she slept with 10+ guys, let alone 100+. It’s a personal preference, and I believe that I’m better off with that.

      Posted by Joel Carreras | September 11, 2014, 4:42 pm
      • Joel, you are absolutely correct. What is wrong with these people. They sound like primitive animals. And when it comes to STDs, we know it is a numbers game, and unfortunately they all deserve what they get. It is nice to know that there others who feel the same way you do. I appreciate the comment. I keep on telling my 5 daughter that no one deserves someone who is a used model when it comes to sex partners.

        Posted by Robert Powell | September 13, 2014, 7:02 pm
      • Joel, you rise some very smart questions. Thank you!

        Posted by V. | October 21, 2015, 2:16 pm
    • Dear 123, I am so proud of you. it is all about choices and priorities, and it seems like yours are all in the right order. The right person is being prepared for you; someone a lot like you. You deserve that person, and you patience will have paid off. Your life may be different, but it is must better than some of the true confessions we read. I feel sorry for all of those lost people who brag about their many conquests.

      Posted by Robert Powell | September 13, 2014, 6:58 pm
  3. I am a 25 year old female, and I’ve had sex with over 50 guys, and although now I have an STD and a severe case of herpes, I still can’t resist the charm of a sexy man.

    Posted by Jennifer | September 13, 2014, 4:39 pm
    • Jennifer, You must be a very beautiful person to have been with over 50 guys, and unfortunately for you it is a numbers game, and it sounds like you have lost. I hope you find what you are looking for one day, and I hope it does not kill you in the process.

      Posted by Robert Powell | September 13, 2014, 6:54 pm
  4. My numbers are just as high. It can easily be pointed to low self esteem as a psychological factor. You just think sex is a way to show or feel emotion. It’s your way. Who’s to judge you anyhow?
    For you ‘ladies’ or ‘gentlemen’ calling the other derogatory names, all I can say is, I apologize that you feel the need to be so judgemental on the lives of others. The way they express love or emotion has nothing to do with you, nor does it sway the balance of your every day life.
    Now, for those of us who experience. We know this. We know we would never love someone who didn’t satisfy us physically as well as mentally. We know, sometimes, you just want a physical relationship without an emotional connection, and that’s ok. We know, sometimes, the best friendships are firmed from bad sexual relationships. And, we know, most of all…you would never buy a car without test driving it first. Meaning, we would never marry a virgin, that is crazy talk.
    DO NOT JUDGE WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
    We have an obvious connection with every person we have physical contact with, drunken stupor or not. At some point we found something that clicked, we were made for this.
    Now…When you find your penguin, please stop and put a holster on your activities. It’s totally the right thing to do. Lead with your lips not your hips at that point.
    ♡♡♡♡

    Posted by Kelly | September 19, 2014, 10:15 pm
    • Kelly, I feel sorry for you. No one has to judge you. You did it yourself. You just called yourself a “used car.” And most cars with very high mileage have a lot of baggage that no one else wants. Most people would rather drive a nice classy car out of a dealership than a used car with high mileage any day. Sorry, but you still have some low self-esteem issues. Please get some help, before you kill yourself or others. Ask God to help you as well.

      Posted by Robert Powell | October 5, 2014, 9:59 pm
    • I heard a story in late night crime TV of a drug addict prostitute, that managed to break out of the ghetto and find a job. She then had married a guy (which she then divorced) and had a daughter. As her daughter started to make exactly the steps she did in the past, that shifted her into the prostitution – the mother tried to lecture and resist, because she clearly knew what was bad and wished that to not happen to her daughter. Police then found and has proven that it was the daughter who slit her mother’s throat and killed her. The daughter received a prison sentence for 20 years, and will be in her late thirties when she leaves. With such “rich” background, its pretty predictable where the daughter will end up.

      Posted by V. | October 21, 2015, 2:13 pm
      • The moral of the story is – apple does not fall away from tree. So much about being judged by the “used car”.

        Posted by V. | October 21, 2015, 2:14 pm
  5. I’m a 28 year old female and I’ve been with 20 different men in the 12 years since I lost my virginity. I always felt bad about my number and would feel insecure about telling a new partner how many men I’ve been with before him. Then, I saw that chart and felt like the biggest whore of all time. However, reading most of these posts makes me realize that perhaps my number is somewhat low.

    Posted by Chiquita | October 4, 2014, 7:19 am
    • OMG! That’s exactly my age and number of partners, and years of sexual activity 🙂 I calculated – that’s 1,6 person per year. Since I became aware of the number, (wrote down every name after that stupid “What’s your number” movie) for the past 6 months I live in an agony that I am dirty and not worthy of love. I’m reading this article so that I can somehow reassure myself that I am not some freaky exception and that probably I am somewhat average. Your comment and shared opinion meant a lot to me!

      Posted by Stela | May 6, 2015, 12:04 pm
      • First of all change the mindset and unleash the guilt, You and I and most of us are all worthy. We are human and sensuous beings. I always preferred it when a woman I was in a relationship with, kept an air of mystery about her and her past relationships. I don’t need to know all the past, particularly details. Let’s live for the day, the moment. Of course I was never big on telling my past history. As far as I am concerned it deflates the romance.

        Posted by Jake | May 8, 2015, 10:10 am
      • I can reassure you, Stela, that you have some major problems with logic. This is not meant as offending. If one foul egg founds most of the other eggs are foul as well, that does not make it a good egg, but rather prove the whole package to be worthless.

        Posted by V. | October 21, 2015, 1:55 pm
  6. I’m 36 and didn’t have sex till I was 19. I don’t know my exact number as I quit counting at 200 and that was years ago. I just love women.

    Posted by David | October 5, 2014, 8:43 pm
    • Dude that’s awesome

      Posted by David | October 5, 2014, 9:02 pm
      • Hay Dude that thought that David’s boasting was awesome. I am leaving with you may comment to him which also apply to you Both of you need to get some serious mental help. And I repeat to you as I did David, that I have 5 daughters, and my job is to keep people like the two of you far away from my beautiful daughters. Stop transmitting your STDs to the poor women out there. My comments to David are below

        I love women too, but you are disgusting for making a game out of this. Someday, if you believe in a God or not you will be judged for all of your risky behavior. I am very surprised you are not dead yet with all of the STDs that you have been exposed to. No future wife of yours will appreciate all of the baggage you are bringing with you. You will have to lie to her to impress her. Not the best way to start a relationship. Good luck and I hope you don’t kill anyone before you really figure out what you want out of life. I have 5 daughters, and my purpose in life is to keep them away from people like you.

        Posted by Robert Powell | October 19, 2014, 12:35 pm
    • David Dude, I love women too, but you are disgusting for making a game out of this. Someday, if you believe in a God or not you will be judged for all of your risky behavior. I am very surprised you are not dead yet with all of the STDs that you have been exposed to. No future wife of yours will appreciate all of the baggage you are bringing with you. You will have to lie to her to impress her. Not the best way to start a relationship. Good luck and I hope you don’t kill anyone before you really figure out what you want out of life. I have 5 daughters, and my purpose in life is to keep them away from people like you.

      Posted by Robert Powell | October 19, 2014, 12:29 pm
  7. 24 here, have had 0… no sexual experiences of any kind whatsoever (though most of my best friends have been promiscuous women and gay men), not even kissing.. the prospect of being infected with any kind of disease, no matter how trivial or common, carries no appeal whatsoever.

    Posted by Jane Doe | October 26, 2014, 3:46 am
    • Dear Jane Doe, I am proud of your comments, but more so your lifestyle choices. You are smart to protects yourself from the ravages of STDs. They are getting worse. And there is even an increase in Oral Cancer with the main causative agent being the HPV 16 & 18 strains. Most of people on this site have nothing better to do than boast about their factitious numbers, and those who actually have the above average numbers will never feel good about themselves in the end IF they live long enough Thank you for being a good role model. You will be blessed by your wise choices one day. Keep up the good work and example. At 24 you have a long and wonderful life ahead of you.

      Posted by Robert Powell | October 26, 2014, 1:35 pm
  8. From an evolutionary biology perspective, monogamy is relatively new for the human race. “Spreading the seed” is an evolutionary biology way of passing on our genes as humans. The more partners you have, the more chance of continuing your patriarchal lineage. In biology, a successful organism is one that has viable offspring (grandkids). Women must be more choosy about their mates because they have 9 months of pregnancy.

    Posted by E T (@eternalstench) | November 1, 2014, 12:56 pm
  9. I’m 21 had sex with 7 guys, a guy I wanna date won’t date me because my numbers are high. Is 7 sex partners bad for my age?

    Posted by jennyitze | January 29, 2015, 5:52 pm
  10. I didn’t start having sex until I was 25. I waited until I received my Bachelors and was accepted to graduate school. I should have waited until I got my Masters and began my career! I Literally gave it up a month after my 25th birthday. I still chose the wrong partner. He was a sociopath ADHD college drop out from LA coming from a dysfunctional family. I was the reserved intellectual from a conservative christian family from NY. He had issues and my first experience was screwed up. I was just lonely as I just moved to a new city across the country and embarked on a toxic six month relationship that left me emotionally drained. It ended and 7 months later I did a one time thing out of loneliness and refused to meet up with the guy again. 9 Months later, I got involved with a colleague. 1 year after that I got with a young divorced colleague and he turned out to be all about drama and acted like a fiesty woman who always gossiped on the phone with his buddy.

    I am 28 years old now and two months ago, I just had my fifth partner. two days after my birthday. However, I usually tell myself four because I don’t like to count the “one time meet up”. He kept calling but thought he was a jerk. Looking back, two of those men didn’t want a serious relationship and I knew they werent people I would normally associate with. They didn’t deserve me.

    The first one I didn’t know any better because he was good at lying. The third one wanted a relationship but I thought he had too much baggage(he didnt tell me he had two kids for a while then I left).

    The fifth one was a working financial professional from Australia with a masters degree.6’4, Athletic, and wholesom. I thought he would be my first long term boyfriend. I waited 4 months to have sex with him. I wanted this one to stay. After that, He ran away because he thought I texted him too much about hanging out and he was constantly busy with his financial job. if he thinks I text too much just because I like him(which I never usually do), I would rather move on and keep my legs shut next time. I got excited for the first time and he left. Moving on.

    I’m just going to get my Masters of Science and start a business. Forget sex and Men. I rather be independently wealthy. I will adopt in my 40s and get a pet.

    Posted by ang | February 4, 2015, 6:09 pm
    • A very good way to perfectly ruin your life. Start searching for your love – love endures some strong tests. Sex and children will follow up. At 35 you may very well forget having own children, which usually has pretty heavy impact on women psychology, no pets or money can compensate it.

      Posted by V. | October 21, 2015, 1:44 pm
  11. I am 21 and I am a female
    I lost my virginity at 18 and I have had sex with 19 different people.
    Only 8 of them frequent times. So pretty much 11 of them are one night things (even my loss of my virginity). On average I had sex with 4-5 men a year. Which isn’t necessarily bad. The numbers I get from these websites are so unrealistic! Some women are lying because there’s no way men can have that much of a sex drive over younger women.

    Posted by Yenessi Frances | February 27, 2015, 4:39 am
  12. This article truly underscores that stats obtained via survey are in NO WAY reliable. There is not a chance on earth that these starts are anywhere near accurate. I’m 33 and I’ve had 11 partners. NO WAY that would be considered a slut considering I see people hook up all the time and I have 2 serious relationships.

    Posted by SMA | March 20, 2015, 8:29 am
  13. Do women who have had sex with over 100 people and many threesomes make the best wives and mothers? And the same for men, Do they make the best husbands and fathers?

    If a mate never divulges their former sex life to their spouse is that better than telling all? Maintain mystery. Do most men cringe or accept the idea their wife has been involved in countless threesomes and maybe some of the people in the couples circle have had previous encounters with his wife involving oral and anal sex.

    Also does the number of sexual partners influence mental stability or instability in both men and women.

    These are sound question and would appreciate feedback.

    Posted by Jake | May 5, 2015, 11:01 am
    • Do men who have had sex with over 100 people and many threesomes make the best husbands and fathers?

      Posted by Dr. Jen Gunter | May 5, 2015, 11:49 am
      • Maybe not Jen, That quantity of relationships may hinder experiencing a healthy, loving monogamous relationship. An individual who has experienced a dozen relationships that say average 6 months in length, is much different than a serial “romantic”. A serial romantic may not have the necessary emotional skill sets to be a loving parent and partner. Not dissimilar to an attention disorder deficit impossible to focus on one relationship.

        Posted by Jake | May 8, 2015, 9:54 am
    • I absolutely believe the more partners a man or woman have, the ability to have stable, long term relationships is diminished……dramatically. Men and women objectify each other the more sexually active they are ……. men are rated by money and attractiveness; women become objectified by sexual activity and looks. Likewise, men and women with high number counts, are far more likely to cheat, they seem to be addicted to that initial attraction/infatuation.

      Posted by Joe2014Blow | December 9, 2016, 3:32 pm
  14. I am 25, but by 21 I had roughly 20 partners. That’s one every 3 months roughly since 16 when I had my first. That doesn’t seem like it’s all that much, I wasn’t a womanizer and never patroled for prospective partners..

    Posted by John Grantham | May 8, 2015, 10:29 pm
  15. Different strokes for different folks. Some people view sex as some sort of spiritual act and union of body, mind, soul some kind of deeply profound act or whatever. Others just think it’s fun. Others consider it part of a standard date….to judge someone for his/her sexual habits seems excessive. I think a lot of people sleep around a lot more (such as myself) because their sex drives are substantially higher than the average person so naturally we’re going to be more inclined to want to have sex on a date or whatever. I have to laugh at all these comments about how psychologically damaged one must be to have slept with x amount of people. Gee, maybe I just have a high sex drive and truly enjoy sex. Did you ever think of that? I have definitely slept with well over 100 women, I think sex is a natural bodily function and fun as long as its consentual. I don’t feel psychologically damaged at all. I am now in a monogamous relationship, I miss casual sleazy sex but I gave it up because I value my relationship more. I don’t feel as though sleeping around so much damaged me, I don’t think it affected me at all. I mean what is the actual difference in jerking off to porn (which guys do all the time) or substituting that for actually having a real life sexual encounters?

    Posted by Alex | June 8, 2015, 5:06 pm
    • Alex, I think you totally missed the purpose of this article which was about STDs and the more sex you have in a non-monogamous relationship the more likely you will contract STDs which are becoming more and more resistant to conventional therapy. And being the father of 5 daughter, one of my main purposes in life is to keep my daughters as far away from people like you as possible. I honestly feel sorrow for people like you, not because of some psychological damage. I actually could not care less what happens to you, but I don’t think you will ever find someone that you will ever be satisfied with. I hope your monogamous relationship endures.

      Posted by Robert Powell | June 8, 2015, 8:23 pm
      • No, I didn’t miss the point of the article, the subsequent discourse was inspired by the article the content of which included harsh judgment against people like myself who at one time slept around gratuitously and enjoyed it with no regrets. You needn’t worry about keeping your daughters away from me, I’m not a rapist, and I basically steer clear of going down that road with girls that view sex as something beyond what I see it as and I never misrepresent my intentions because I have scruples, just not traditional sexual mores when I’m single and not dating exclusively. So even in my most promiscuous heyday I can assure you nothing would have occurred that would not have been consensual, I don’t role that way. My monogamous relationship continues, it is wonderful and very well may end in marriage. Crazy thing is my girl tells me she doesn’t care if I sleep around, she just doesn’t want to know about it. However, my feelings for her are authentic, I feel fake if I cheat and my conscience gets the best of me so I have chosen to be faithful because my relationship with her has more value than anonymous, sleazy sex. I guess that’s the power of true love, huh?

        Posted by Alex | June 22, 2015, 7:05 pm
  16. I’m a female living in the U. S. and I’ve been with over 400 men. Other ladies I know have been with many men too, two I know of that have been with over 300 and 500, from their own accounts. I haven’t seen anyone with numbers as high as ours. When I have told people my number they don’t believe it either.

    Posted by Elizabeth | July 16, 2015, 3:14 am
    • Do you think you are capable of loving one partner? Do you think that the quantity of partners would make you a better parent or a worse parent? And have you contracted an STD? I could ask the same questions to a male. I believe this is an area that needs further examination. Perhaps quantities or irrelevant or could be detrimental.

      Posted by Jake | July 16, 2015, 3:59 pm
      • I saw that the article was about how many sex partners people have had. I just wanted to tell how many I’ve had. And yes I’ve had chlamydia, trichomoniasis, crabs, garnerella (which is now called bacterial vaginosis and us no longer considered an STD) and herpes. Herpes, as we know, is not curable. I didn’t think I was cool or anything EXCEPT at first when I started having sex, very young (14), because I didn’t know any better. I’m not trying to make an excuse either I just did not know that screwing multiple men would mean anything bad.

        Posted by Elizabeth | July 18, 2015, 5:36 pm
      • And yes I’ve loved one partner every time I’ve been in a relationship. My numerous partners were not a result of cheating.

        Posted by Elizabeth | July 19, 2015, 6:21 am
  17. Is this talking about in a lifetime or in a year lol?

    Posted by Truth | July 17, 2015, 3:02 am
    • Lifetime

      Posted by Elizabeth | July 18, 2015, 5:29 pm
      • I am not judging since who on this planet is perfect? At least you are honest and honest with yourself and you survived what you experienced. All you did was participate in intimacy but took risks. I was curious whether individuals who had a significant number of partners could focus on one partner and be a good partner. There are times I wondered if I was capable of this. I have always had a strong desire for intelligent, attractive women even while I was in a relationship. I realize that is not right, I never contracted an STD.

        Posted by Jake | July 18, 2015, 5:58 pm
  18. David-I don’t think banging a bunch of women is the same thing as “loving women,” that’s just dumb. Who knows how many women I’ve had sex with, it’s a lot, but I wouldn’t be so corny and fake as attributing it to “loving women” as much as I just love sex. And when I’m single and meet a like-minded female, there’s a good chance we’ll be giving it a shot very soon, maybe within moments if I’m charming enough,lol. As for Robert, you just sound like a control freak. Why do your daughters’ sex lives even matter to you unless they’re minors? I mean if your daughters are minors then good for you, I think it’s very understandable to make sure they’re not being sexually active but from the way you write it seems like you’ll keep the kids tied to your apron strings as long as possible. Kids grow up and discover sex, that’s the reality and I don’t think that’s such a tragedy and they might not necessarily share your outlook on sex. Maybe they will. Does it really matter anyway? To indicate this as a central purpose of your life seems neurotic and unrealistic. But whatever works for you!

    Posted by Alex | July 19, 2015, 7:30 pm
    • finally someone i agree with

      Posted by mouh | August 9, 2015, 9:49 pm
    • I would define a good father as:
      a) those who cares for his children a lot and wishes them no bad things.
      b) those who researches hard on the difference between good and bad using facts only, and then transfers the knowledge unto the children so they learn about this before they get chance to be exposed. There quite a lot of things, which have no-return mark once in contact. Such is best learned by analysis and correct behavior instead of practical exposure under the claims of false freedom. For example, radioactivity.
      c) those who carries the knowledge to his children without loosing their confidence.

      a+b+c – he is a good father.
      you are not. not only you are not sure, you are trying to drag him into the swamp of doubt along.

      Posted by V. | October 21, 2015, 2:03 pm
  19. I’ve been in search and finally found a website … I felt really bad dirty about myself but after reading all comments I’m not the only one. .. I lost my virginity at age 14 , after that I had 4 other people , after that I got in a relationship it lasted four five years things went bad we broke it up and I became promiscuous didn’t care about nothing I had sex with 10 other men, I am 23 now , making the list yesterday night total of 16 guys.. Might’ve forgotten a few .. No more then 20. It feels such a relief to be writing this and to know I’m not the only one. I’ve made my mistakes . And learning . The last person person I had sex was over two months ago. Sigh.. Every single one of them was unprotected. Yes I was stupid I feel less worth .. Lucky I did not catch no std.. Knowing I had so many partners it was a one time thing . I honestly am happy it’s been only two months but I’m not thinking about sex no more. Just want to wait for the right .. I dot. Want to keep adding the list. I’m really close to my mom I wish I had the courage to tell her but I feel so ashame .. Ita a relief writing it down ..But knowing I’m not the only one in the world feels much better . My best friends had sex over 200 men theyre 24 years old and don’t feel bad about it .. So why should I feel bad right ?

    Posted by Lulu | August 29, 2015, 7:23 am
  20. I became sexually active at 22. I am now 44 and I have been with at least 16 men and at least 2 women. I attended an orgy once so my numbers are “at least.”

    What’s interesting about my figures is that only 5 of those people were people who I actually wanted to have sex with. The remaining I felt obligated, coecered and/or trapped and the option of “no” never occurred to me.

    What is more interesting, although perhaps not surprising, is that only 3 of my sexual experiences resulted in an orgasm for me. I did not even know what an orgasm was until I turned 36 (it did not occur at the orgy, a woman’s pleasure is not the focus of an orgy).

    Only one of my orgasmic experiences occurred with a person I actually wanted to have sex with.

    These statistics are interesting but I would like to see statistics on satisfaction and particularly female satisfaction. Then I’d like to see the data actually used in a sexual education course that actually teaches something useful.

    Posted by AC | October 4, 2015, 8:16 am
  21. I am a 38 year old male, & i have only been with my wife. My wife is 36 & she has only been with me. I think this is rare. But she is my everything, & she’s all i need.

    Posted by Johnny | October 6, 2015, 6:11 pm
    • Johnny, what a beautiful and powerful statement in such a few short words. Everything and anything else that anyone has ever said about this on this site is meaningless. You have said it all so perfectly. I am not even sure what Church you go to, but I just found this talk on the internet and it was about you and your lovely wife and the blessings that come from being Chaste. The two of you are so blessed. And yes you two are very rare indeed, especially amongst the people on this particular blog, who seems to look at this like lower forms of animals who cannot control their desires and passions. So proud of both of you. You will love the talk. Let me know what you think. I just listened to it and it was very moving and powerful, and you are right in line with the principles he taught. Amazing !
      https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/we-believe-in-being-chaste?lang=eng

      Posted by Robert Joseph Powell | October 6, 2015, 7:36 pm
    • Hello John. No, you are not alone. Can you tell me which nation you and your wife are? Which culture you follow and which religion? Just interesting to know. Below is my story:

      “How many sex partners do people really have?”

      One. 1. My gf and now – wife.

      I am a guy, 31 yo. We got to know each other when I was 21 through a random chat (she was 18). She had also one partner – me and we both lost virginity together. I have no potency or sexual issues. We have regular sex at least twice week, we don’t control each other actions and are fully open to discuss anything. We have two happy children. Had at least two big strikes during our relations, nearly divorced – but we still rejoined and love each other.
      Daily.

      I never went to prostitute, I know the amount of rubbish that passes between their legs.
      I never wanter to meet a girl just out of platonic demand, because such girls either switch their partners quickly – no difference from prostitute on drugs, or are in for the money – no difference from prostitute undercover. I am not atheist, but I am an agnostic and a bit taoist.

      I also wanted to have a good family, where my children could have a happy childhood. Yes, I have some values and so does my wife. Perhaps, this distances us from the mass which engages into random coitus in a quest to get more infections, unstable environment for children and die from STD-caused complications like cancer earlier.

      PS.
      We are free, happy and we don’t need your mooing – should you feel the necessity to express it.

      Posted by V. | October 21, 2015, 1:00 pm
  22. I can’t believe the amount of bullshitters on this board. And the ones that are telling the truth are very likely sex addicts, people who were abused as children (many admit this) and men that are counting prostitutes in their numbers. Also know a few women who have hit high numbers…bith were abused as children both we’re not very good looking at all.

    Posted by Ramd | October 12, 2015, 6:33 pm
    • And RAMD, you forgot to mention that they are a breeding ground or cesspool of some of the most resistant strains of infectious disease microbes on the planet.

      Posted by Robert Joseph Powell | October 12, 2015, 11:12 pm
  23. I have only been with one guy and now I’m married to him unless you count a prior rape at 21.

    Posted by L. Krystal | October 15, 2015, 2:48 pm
  24. I’m a 24 year old male who has had 2 sexual partners. I dated a girl from 15-20 and another one from 21-23. Its been about 2 years now since I’ve had sex, and as much as I want to have sex again, I can’t bring myself to be just another number for some girl who’s slept with everyone who asked her for it. I can’t respect that. I respect your decision and ability to do what you want with your life and with your body, but you have to respect that I don’t have to be the person who puts up with that sort of behaviour. I’m not sure you can have both – the high number of partners and the respect for the sanctity of a relationship.

    The emotional intimacy is a huge part of sex for me and many others, I have trouble separating sex from love; and separating the two is not something I necessarily want to do. I hope to find another girl with a lower number like my own to enjoy the act of intimacy with soon but I’m not going to go sleeping around with every girl I have the opportunity to sleep with just because sex is enjoyable.

    I am also a bit disgusted by how many people report such astonishingly high numbers. Either boosting their own ego or I just think they don’t respect themselves. Yes sex is fun, but why not think long term? If you don’t ever plan on settling down, thats fine, but it goes back to the fact that the kind of genuine, honest guy you probably want to end up with won’t appreciate that sort of behaviour. This isn’t just me saying that – there is a lot of this mentioned in the comments – girls who say “I’ve had 20 partners at 21 and now people won’t date me because of my number.” Well that happens because sex is a very intimate thing, they want to feel like its as special for you as it is for them. If you’re their 5th partner, but they are your 50th, is it any surprise they won’t see you as someone to enjoy dating? This causes a lot of problems in marriages too when discrepencies in number of partners leads to all sorts of problems.

    So if you are one of those girls who has slept with a lot at a young age as I see it there are two options. One, give up on finding a nice guy or a happy marriage later and just sleep with as many as you want. Become one of those girls talking about how they’ve slept with 100, 200, 300+ partners. Or if you want a happy marraige with a nice guy, or even just a happy LTR, save yourself for that person. Sex is a human need, but so is intimacy and reciprocated love. I’d date a girl if she told me “I had 20 partners when I was younger, but since deciding I wanted a LTR I’ve been saving myself for that person” … I would not date someone who said “I had 20 partners and the last one was last week but I’ll totally be loyal with you and you are special to me, trust me!”

    This is one of those things where I simply feel you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Its one or the other. Happy, intimate, loving LTR’s or many many sexual partners. Or just lie and try to get both, but I don’t think thats a serious option as the truth will come out. And I don’t mean to cast judgement on those who do live that sort of lifestyle. But I think one should understand that a lot of those higher number women and men (seriously, read through the comments, I did!) are having trouble finding or maintaining LTR’s – the # of partners, or the mindset behind why they had so many partners to begin with – are likely a key factor there. I wonder if these high-number women and men would have been happier if they saved themselves and met someone and had a happy, monogamous relationship.

    And regarding the stats. I think to even look at an article like this, you are looking for validation. I came here looking for validation that my relatively low seeming number (based on how sexualized society has become) is normal or at least not abnormal. My number is not abnormal and not something I feel ashamed about. When I look around at my peers, there are some casanovas, sure, but the vast majority are people with very few partners. Of my peer group (18-28 y.o. college students) I know several virgins, several who have had a single partner, most are about 3-4 partners. There are tons of studies that support numbers like these. Its important to understand – for all those claiming “100” is a normal number – that most people in the world are not the type to sleep around. If your biggest experience with the opposite sex is trying to get laid – bars, clubs, online dating, wherever – then the pool of people to compare to is skewed. If you limit yourself to comparing yourself to individuals from these venues then you are ignoring the vast majority of society. So you are surrounding yourself with the 10-20% of people who are these >15 partner people per the stats here. That simply means the pool of people you compare yourself to is not a true representation of society as a large, it doesn’t mean that society as a large conforms to your perceived “norms.”

    Do whatever you want. But understand that actions have consequences. Even if you don’t contract an STD, it may affect your ability to find, or maintain, a LTR as you get older. I found this post because I was consoling a girl I know after her bf (she was his 2nd) broke up with her after finding out her number (8). For what I want in a relationship I never felt my number was low, but I also didn’t feel her number was high, so I searched for some stats. I don’t think 8 is unreasonable – if I wasn’t dating for a total of 7 years my number might be closer to that.

    I’ll conclude this rambling post with one thing: If you are worrying about your number – that says something. Ask yourself what you really want and try to figure out if all these sexual experiences are really giving you that.

    Posted by Justaguy | November 3, 2015, 1:32 pm
    • Great post here! I like you would never go into a relationship wanting “just sex”. Nevertheless I’ve had several people bail on me immediately after our first encounters. I’ve also been divorced once and widowed once.

      My son is 23 and I believe he has had only two partners. I think that at 23 I had only been with three people.

      Posted by Thomoz | November 4, 2015, 7:43 am
  25. I am a 46 year old woman. I Google this question because I was truly curious. I cannot believe these numbers are real. I have had slightly over 60 partners in the last 7 or 8 years, my total number of sexual partners is close to 200. And no, I’m not a prostitute. I’m proud of it, I keep a record of everytime I have sex, and I measure each and every one of my partners penises (that just started around 2007 though, with my first African). I think women would be a lot happier if they had more sex.

    Posted by D | November 19, 2015, 5:28 pm
    • You do understand of course that women who are in monogamous relationships do HAVE LOTS OF SEX and probably more than you do with your 200 partners. I wonder though, how many of the females here who had those extreme numbers in sexual partners orgasmed in each of their casual sexual encounter. That it would be very interesting because i have the feeling that few women do enjoy – orgasm in casual sex.

      Posted by bibi | February 4, 2016, 3:07 pm
  26. Interesting.. Virginity lost @ 14… I’m 37 years old and stop counting at about 200.. Have one daughter. Never been married and don’t care for it.

    Posted by JOM | December 4, 2015, 4:09 pm
  27. I’m 19 years old and in only this January I have had 3 different sexual partners. I had sex only once with each of them then left. (It’s like one night stand.) There were 2 times that were unprotected sex. Until now my number is 4 partners. I judge myself a lot since I couldn’t control my sexual need. And now I’m sitting at home and being worried about the risk of STDs or HIV/AIDS. I don’t have any symptoms of these diseases but I still wonder of my number is normal at my age and if the risk of STDs/HIV is obviously way higher now for me.

    Posted by Linh | January 19, 2016, 11:52 pm
  28. I am 25 and my number is well over 300. I actually think my number is higher than most because during my college years, I actively participated in gangbangs. In fact, my number is probably over 400 because I honestly lost track of the number of dicks inside me (no joke, there were so many men that I wasn’t sure how many were new and how many repeated).

    I am not ashamed of my number, not at all. I adore men and I love sex. I have been called many names, most notably slut or whore, and there have been plenty of men who just wanted sex once they found out my number. Name calling does not bother me & if a man just wants sex from me, so be it. We’re two consenting adults, so what’s the problem?

    No, I don’t always make a man wear a condom but I have been tested. In fact, because I’m very sexually active, I get tested every 6 months & I have always been negative.

    If a man judges me and doesn’t want to be with me because I’m a “whore,” then I move on. I cannot change my past nor the number and type of my experiences.

    Call me what you will, judge me how you want. I am a grown woman and I stand by my words.

    Posted by Jessie | February 6, 2016, 5:21 pm
    • Do you think that experiencing this number of partners would hinder or help a relationship? Also would you be honest with a husband, for instance, about your experiences.

      Do you think a man that has had 300 sexual partners makes a better partner and capable of being a loyal, caring partner?
      Would you be angry with a husband who wasn’t honest about his past but you found out?

      Posted by Mike | April 19, 2016, 8:28 am
  29. I honestly feel 1000x better I’m turning 19 and I’ve had sex with 6 people, and I am definitely not proud of it…. half of those people were ass wipes and it just feels wrong to me I guess, but to each their own.

    Posted by ToasterStrudel | February 25, 2016, 1:20 pm
  30. I stopped counting at 120…I know that makes me a man whore but I really could careless…I’m a great lover and my Fiancee has reaped those benefits and I have all those woman I’ve had sex with to thank for that…also…I haven’t told her to complete truth about my number…I told her 15…I feel bad about that sometimes but I don’t feel like that number matters…what matters is that I’m in a great loving relationship 38th the girl of my dreams…and whatever number I had in the past doesn’t matter because from here on out it’s just going to be 1…her…my queen

    Posted by Robert | March 1, 2016, 4:30 am
    • If you don’t feel like the number matters you should have told her before you got serious let alone engaged. This does not bode well for the marriage; building it on a lie.

      Posted by Dale | April 3, 2016, 1:56 pm
  31. I lost my virginity at age 21 and by 24 my sexual partners list is now at 35. With no relationships in there.

    Posted by Burton | September 12, 2016, 7:47 am
  32. Until i was 32 i had only 1 partner, not im 46 it is close to 200. And i feel its fine for me in my life.

    Posted by Irene | October 7, 2016, 12:33 pm
  33. I’m 53 .. I’ve had two partners.. My wife and my ex :gf at age 18. My wife is 50 and only ever been with me..

    Posted by Jason | October 29, 2016, 1:37 pm
  34. I’ve been married for 25 years and have been 100% loyal. My wife and I have sex about 3 times a week (except when it is that time of month). Before we might have drinks on the couch watching TV and after we snuggle and fall asleep. There is a lot of trust, comfort and safe feelings. So my wife and I estimate we have had all sorts of sex, with each other, about 3,000 times. I really don’t understand having so many partners………a stranger is a stranger, no trust, no comfort…..no matter how hot they are……………

    Posted by Joe2014Blow | December 9, 2016, 3:24 pm
  35. Wow these responses!! I don’t know if these people are trolls or psychopaths!! And people not thinking 30+ is a high number ROFL!!! I don’t know what is worse, your high number or your complete obliviousness to it being a high number likely pointing to some mental deficiency. I know news/society talks about all this loose sex everyone is supposedly having but studies consistently point out very low sex partners for most of the population. To each their own but good luck finding love that lasts longer than a fortnight!

    Posted by What?! | February 5, 2017, 3:15 pm
    • I personally think you’re being way too judgmental here.

      First of all, some people will not stay married to you no matter how decent you are to them. They just want out. This happened to me.
      Plus, my second wife died of chronic health issues.

      In between I’ve had several girlfriends, relationships that lasted as long as four years that did not culminate in marriage , but sometimes you date somebody for a few months, sleep with them just once, and then they don’t want to see you again. It just happens. You don’t have to be ugly, or fat, or stupid, or bad in bed for them to decide that they just want to spend the rest of their lives with something different, something they haven’t found yet.

      And people answering this question are from all age groups. I would think anybody who was young in the 1970s and did not grow up with an oppressive religious upbringing would have a higher score.

      Posted by Thomoz | February 7, 2017, 3:51 am
  36. My number is 37 or perhaps a bit less. too long ago and fuzzy details. I’m 43, married with kids. Husband has been my only partner since i met him in 1998. I was serial monogamy in my early 20’s. It wasn’t a conscious choice, I never cheated. It just came about. Part fun, part escape from severe abuse growing up, part drunk parties. Never slept with a taken guy but did BJ guy w/ gf after strip poker.

    yet my mom and someone else spread untrue rumors and now everyone i know and thousands i don’t know gossip and shun me forever. i wrote a book about it. should i publish it?

    promiscuous people aren’t bad people. they’re just humans. they need love and support. some of them enjoy their ways and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Posted by Ava | March 11, 2017, 1:21 pm

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