you're reading...
sex, STDs

How many sex partners do people really have?

What do you think is high number of sexual partners?

Two? Eight? Not being able to count on your fingers and toes?

We talk a lot about the number of sex partners in the world of STDs, because sexually transmitted infections are a numbers game. The more partners you have, the more potential exposures. And the more potential exposures, the greater the risk of infection and all the sequelae that comes along as a parting gift. For example, we know that oral sex with 6 or more partners results in an 8-fold increases in the risk of oral cancer.

The National Health Statistics Reports (Published March 2011) gives us the answers about the number of sex partners for Americans ages 15-44, although why they stop at 44 I don’t know. I mean people do get divorced at 45 (ahem) and might possibly start dating again. I’m just saying.

The latest report uses data from the 2006–2008 National Survey of Family Growth. The answers are collected through in-person interviews with over 13,000 men and women. The data are collected using audio computer-assisted self interviewing, so the person being surveyed enters answers into the computer without revealing their responses to an interviewer. This method of responding hopefully eliminates (or at least limits) the need to artificially inflate or decrease the number of sex partners based on concerns over reporting real numbers to a live interviewer. The survey has a pretty high response rate: 75%.

The data for opposite sex partners ages 15 to 44 are as follows:

The median number of opposite sex partners for women is 3.2 and 5.1 for men.

88.7% of women have been sexually active with an opposite sex partner and 88.6% for men.

And for the highest number of partners in the study, 8.3% of women and 21.4% of men have had 15 or more partners. While the number of sex partners increased with age, by the age of 24 more than 14% of men and 7 % of women have had 15 or more sex partners.

One interesting demographic for both men and women, is the group most likely to have the highest number of partners (15 or more) are those who have previously been married and are not currently cohabiting, i.e. divorced and dating. While some of that may be a reflection of age, it is hard to know if other factors are also involved (the study simply addressed numbers, not the “why”).

Interesting stats for sure.

I’ll be posting throughout the next week with other interesting sexual demographics from this data set.

What do you think is a high number of sex partners?

Discussion

130 thoughts on “How many sex partners do people really have?

  1. 88.7% of women have never been sexually active with an opposite sex partner and 88.6% for men. ???

    Perhaps that should be “ever” rather than “never”?

    Posted by Meta Brown | December 3, 2011, 2:10 pm
  2. I am 43 years old and I stopped counting at 100, I think I am being honest and upfront by declaring this number. I think a lot of people lie and I am about the average

    Posted by Louise | December 4, 2011, 12:28 am
    • I am 46 and stopped counting at 70-something…..that is because I got married and stopped. If I had not gotten married, I am sure the number would have climbed.

      Posted by goat girl | February 14, 2013, 10:09 am
      • Thank you I feel so much better, I am 49, & just told my Fiancé that my number 90+ and he’s freaking out saying I should be in the guinness book. I told him it was the 80’s sorry

        Posted by Lynn | October 7, 2013, 8:42 pm
    • Over 100 may be the average for prostitutes, and you probably are one.

      Posted by rpr | April 9, 2013, 4:55 pm
      • Woah that’s pretty closed minded of you! I’m 22 and I’ve been with 50 guys since I was 17. My experience is that it just becomes smoother & more natural to go from kissing to sex the more you do it. However I have also found that the more people I sleep with the harder I find it to get turned on by the same guy. Being with someone new is the only thing that excites me now & it saddens me and worries me that I won’t be able to settle down in the future. I actually wish I’d been more careful & selective in the past and kept sex special. I have been abused before though, and I think that is what led me to stop viewing sex as “special”, I partly became promiscuous to numb & block out the bad memories. To sum up; there is no definite judgements that can be made about a big or small number, everyone has different in lifestyle, life experience, personality, principles, psyche, social group/situation, preferences, view on sex etc. Each to their own! Just be happy

        Posted by Aussie thinker | May 3, 2013, 5:25 pm
    • I appreciate your honesty and I am trying to figure this out as well, but I agree with you. Im 51 and my number of partners has been 3 but I consider myself asexual, and I can tell you I had been under tremendous pressure in my younger years to have sex. I was date raped once and assaulted twice but I managed to get away on the last two. There is a lot of pressure on “nice girls” by some men who I would call “sexual predators” because they just want to have sex with as many women as possible. They target “nice girls” and lie about their interests because they want women who are unlikely to have STDs, they were a real problem.

      Posted by Reality Girl | July 6, 2013, 4:29 pm
    • I’m 33 and have been with roughly 60+ partners (mostly male; I am counting both genders). interestingly, my number was 10 when i got married, and around 50 when we divorced–he was gay and I am not and we both needed outlets.

      The declaration of “my number” doesn’t remotely paint an accurate picture of my sexual history, which I think is what’s really bring asked in that question.

      If a guy had 5 partners but was in porn, then that’s high, if he had 50 partners but was not, then that’s not high. To me.

      Posted by June | August 1, 2014, 6:58 am
  3. I always think with whom are those men having sex if it is not with women ( in this cuestionarie) number are higher for men… Big mouth counts? Women usually are more discrete

    Posted by Pedro Martinez | December 4, 2011, 11:53 am
  4. You may also be interested in looking at this issue of Journal of Sexual Medicine published in 2010

    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jsm.2010.7.issue-s5/issuetoc

    They use a national probability survey to get sexual behavior data from the US from ages 14-94. They also have a paper dedicated to sexual behavior among those over 50.

    One interest of mine is to determine whether changes in sexual behavior account for the increases in some STI related disease (ie HPV associated oral cancer)

    Posted by danbeachler | December 8, 2011, 9:57 am
    • There is a higher rate of discrepancy in France between men (11.6) and women (4.4). I asked a statistician why that might be and he said that in a random population sample of women they were unlikely to have any prostitutes, but that in France a high number of men visited prostitutes. The secondary discrepancy would be caused by under reporting in women and over reporting in men.

      Posted by normandierentals | April 13, 2012, 12:56 am
  5. I can’t believe the numbers are that low. I just counted for the last 17 years (I chose that time frame because it is the amount of time I have been living where I am now) and came up with 8. That is, precisely: 4 dating relationships of less than one year, 1 longer one (off and on for several years), 1 one-night stand, 1 serious relationship (a few years), and 1 person I see now. And there were times in which I was seeing nobody. It doesn’t really seem that excessive to me and everyone I know that I know this kind of thing about gets around at least this much unless they are married or something like that. All I can think of to explain low averages is marriage … ? … or is it that the window of ages measured is 15-44, which would skew things low?

    Posted by Z | July 4, 2012, 9:26 pm
  6. I know this is an older post but I hope you can answer a question for me. I recently found out my husband of 22 years was unfaithful.. Very unfaithful. He admitted to never being faithful and very risky behavior with sex workers. He claims that he has not had unprotected sex since 2010. He received oral from a sex worker but “always” protected. Anyway, after revealing everything, I went to my doctor for a full check up & labs. My GYN found genital warts on me. (I was negative 4 years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter). I have had no other partners in 25 years. Anyway, my husband found a wart in his mouth. He claims he has no idea how he got it. That is just “appeared” recently. It is quite large behind his lower lip. His dermatologist removed it but my husband claims it was not tested. He also claims his dermatologist said that since I had a genital wart that I gave it to him in his mouth. This makes no sense to me. If he had one in his mouth then he gave it to me. So how did he get it? You can’t pick it up by drinking after someone. OR touching a chair but could he have gotten it by just touching himself or someone else and transferring it to his mouth? OR did he give oral sex to someone and got it that way? All this HPV information is so confusing. Many sites contradict each other.

    Posted by Anne | July 27, 2012, 9:06 am
    • Sweetheart I hope u leave that man and it’s obvious he’s lying about everything. Think about it a dermatologist telling him u had warts and gave it to him? Even after he confessed to you about having affairs, he’s still lying. That means he’s not going to stop. It’s time you move on, I’ve been there and you deserve better.

      Posted by Allysa | August 28, 2012, 1:45 am
    • If your husband came to you before he cheated, and asked you for the chance to “swing” or for you all to have an open marriage, what would have been your response?

      Posted by RA | May 22, 2013, 7:40 am
  7. I doubt these numbers are true. People just lie even if it’s to a computer.

    Posted by Allysa | August 28, 2012, 1:47 am
  8. 25yo gay guy. So far this year (10) months my count has just gone past 100… I don’t have a problem, I just love it!

    Posted by Adam | November 8, 2012, 9:41 pm
  9. I’m a 28 year old female, I lost my virginity when I was 13. In 15 years I’ve slept with 35 people. I feel a person becomes sexual promiscuous when they blatantly disregard, the sexual safety of themselves and others.
    Not everyone is at the same place in their lives or has the same values or morals, sexual wants, needs or desires. So it’s quite unfair to place such a varied range of people in one study because then the numbers just become skewed.

    Posted by Alianha | November 14, 2012, 11:49 am
  10. Well this article makes me feel pretty bad. I realize now that something is wrong with me & that I do have low self respect.
    I am 17 years old. I have had sex with 19 people. I lost my virginity at the age of 14. I did not have strong feelings for most of my partners & have had mostly casual relationships. I engage in sexual acts without a thought or care & I am totally unprotected.
    Aaaagghh something is wrong with me..

    Posted by Emily | November 21, 2012, 1:13 am
    • haha dont feel bad. Im 38 male and i been with over 140 females.

      Posted by Jo | December 11, 2012, 7:42 pm
      • whoaaaa, I was shocked by all these post! my number is low, no where near 100,at about 22, and I’m almost 40, with some years of no sex at all, and my number is counting the little protected pokes from when I was a teenager and in early 20’s. lol and I have only had unprotected with 5 guys on purpose, and 2 when I was in a serious relationship with already, and the others we were leading up to it and close friends . My number grew a little when I lost my first child so that is how I got to 22, and was ready to give up on life. for least 13 years I with a guy and no one else. I’ve had hundreds of guys try to talk to me though, only about 10 percent have even made it to kissing me. I have only kissed 4 guys on the mouth (french kissed), who I didn’t try to kiss me without asking and I didn’t stop. lol. where i live it is rare to be my age with one child and with this little bit of partners. When I tell a guy no I don’t want to have sex with him, and I tell him my history, he is shocked and feel mad. Actual if I have sex with a guy one time, even for a few minutes and it seems to me, he is just looking to get laid, and comes on strong just for sex after that or admit to a history of using women for sex or has said he has been single for a few years, I’m done with him. He is a health risk and not emotionally available. There is no excuse for anyone to be single for some years but having sex. I’m sure there was one person you could of invested at least a year into. I refuse to believe, there was no girl who didn’t want to be in a real relationship with him.

        Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 6:42 pm
    • im 19 and have slept with 23 guys, i am not pround of it because most of them were foolish drunkin mistakes, but its nice to know your just as bad lol

      Posted by jessica | September 11, 2013, 3:21 pm
      • How crazy to look at the post now after 1 and a half years. In 1 and a half years my number has more than doubled from 19 to 43. i am 18 now, and will be turning 19 in june. i would like to understand the psychological reasons for this type of behavior, because i am not a healthy individual. i was sexually abused from 5 years old onward. it may have to do with my behavior now, but I’ve never been to a professional to speak about it. like other comments have said, promiscuous sexual behavior is a blatant disregard for one’s sexual safety as well as other’s. I don’t really care what happens to me or any of my partners. Sometimes i really don’t enjoy the sex, and lately its been that way. It’s just a cycle of indifference.

        Posted by emily | May 5, 2014, 2:12 pm
      • Im 33 and just got to 50. I did lose 5 years of action to marriage. Clearly I need to step it up.

        Posted by gonza | May 12, 2014, 9:40 pm
    • better to chose only one partner in life till death then only you can have total social life enjoyment .and this will give you satisfaction in life psychologically and sexually .test of sex is same why to change life partner every now and then .if there is some communication gap sit to gather and solve it . divorce is the worst things in life should not be happen with any one else.
      I am 26 years Indian young smart guy i have my this view i am searching nice girl who can be with me till end of my life .i will Mary such like minded girl.
      My email who like my view please post hsekhalid@yahoo.com

      Posted by Khalid | July 2, 2014, 2:34 pm
  11. I find the low numbers shocking. I wonder how many people still are threatened by the social stigma associated with the numbers. As female in my thirties I did stop counting after approx 120. Do I feel that I am a “whore” as such articles suggest… NO. I am a healthy, safe sex practicing, responsible adult. I enjoy sex. Nothing wrong with that.
    I wish more people were open about this topic.

    Posted by Chris | December 18, 2012, 11:52 am
    • Not sure how a society can get rid of their sexual taboos , but the debate for monogamy is a model that doesn’t work , at least not for many. I was a virgin male ( by choices , difficult at times) until I was 39 and in the next 10 years , I was with 40 women, 4 women in the last 4 years. Numbers don’t mean a thing

      Posted by Clay Belt | June 20, 2013, 6:56 am
    • I guess my you are shocked by my number then. my number is 22 and I’m 38 years old and I spent 13 years with one man and my partners include pokes from a teenager, and I have only had unprotected sex with five partners, so this is shocking to you? It shocks everyone I tell where i live, cause NOBODY I know has a number that low and most women in the cities have a bunch of kids by my age. I had my child after married. I was worried my number was high, funny thing is, beside about 6 people, the others were suppose to be in serious relationships with me but cheated on me early on.

      Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 6:49 pm
  12. I’m a woman closing in on 23 and surprise, surprise, I’ve never actually had sex with anybody. This isn’t for lack of wanting to, nor is it that I am socially inept or physically unattractive (trust me, I’m not either ;). Every time I’ve gotten close to “doing it”, something has always come up and/or gotten in the way. Alas, that is just how the pieces fall sometimes. I worry sometimes about it because I do want to have sex, but at the same time I realize that there are tons of other items on my list of things to do. I’m sure it will happen eventually though, and after that, who knows how many sexual partners I’ll end up having? Either way, I don’t think that the number is something that anybody should be overly concerned with as long as they are being responsible and using protection.

    Posted by briannagunter | January 11, 2013, 9:26 pm
    • I am with you. I am married to my only partner. we both are very happy. stick to your role. it works

      Posted by nice guy | February 23, 2013, 12:10 am
      • I wish I was as happy about that as you seem to be. I’ve been with exactly one man in my life, my husband of 24 years. Reading some of these replies, I think I must be the biggest female loser of all time.

        Posted by No wild oats | January 13, 2014, 12:47 am
    • i am male 23 …and i am a virgin as well….i know what you are talking about the things on your list…i want to have sex but things just dont align……it will surely happen for both of us ..dont worry and good luck

      Posted by avi | June 10, 2013, 10:34 pm
    • Brianna , if your first time is in a loving caring and heading towards long term, you won’t fall in the pattern of multiple partners. The desire for sex with a partner as oppose to masturbation is a powerful drive and then the empty , never satisfying search for a sex partner, I did it , but its an empty search , with that said I’m not in favor of monogamy as a societal imposition. I regretted having waited all those years to become sexual active , but that regret came to mind in the loneliest periods of searching myself in the midst my promiscuity.

      Posted by Clay Belt | June 20, 2013, 7:04 am
  13. I’m 26, male and have had no sexual partners at all. I don’t see myself having any in the future either. I find the idea of ending up with a whore uninteresting. I look at the higher number of sexual partners as people not worth knowing, I mean if you’ll treat what is suppose to be an intimate relationship as something you wipe your ass with, well, to be honest, I’m not even interested in calling you an acquaintance. To each their own though.

    Posted by Sanshiro | February 11, 2013, 7:08 am
    • I was so impressed to read a couple articles about younger people waiting for that special someone before they lose their virginity. I started thinking recently after reading some articles that our country was really promiscuous. But you gave me another view that you should be proud of. With the AIDS and HIV epidemic people should take their health more seriously but too many treat their bodies like their someone elses. God Bless You for being smart.

      Posted by Alina Ward | February 21, 2013, 1:04 pm
    • When a girl is sexually abused at a young age, she usually grows up thinking that sex is either what is expected from a man to show she cares, or she may avoid sex as much as possible. Neither is healthy, but her views may not be due to being a whore, but due to abuse. You may want to consider that fact before you completely discount a woman due to her sexual past. It’s not always black or white.

      Posted by Mary | April 10, 2013, 1:46 am
      • I totally agree with you. I’ve been abused since I was 4 to my teenage years. I’m now 25. My number is only 12 and I don’t plan to go any higher unless I’m married and it’ll be plus 1. Sexual abuse affects people especially when it starts young. I was only a child and it messed up for years. Ruined my thinking, etc.

        Posted by Janique | February 20, 2014, 4:13 pm
  14. I’m a 29 y.o. guy, and I’ve had 21 women that I’ve penetrated. Some great sex, some not so much. My goal before marriage was 100 women, so I’m waaayyyy behind. I was in a relationship for almost 3 years between 26-29. Also, I lost my virginity at age 19. So in ten years of sexual activity, I have a 2.1 women per year average. I’m out of my relationship now, but my current prospectus- not too good. If I want to meet my immature jerkish piggish goal in the next ten years, or by age 39, I have to average 8 women per year. 10 years X 8 women per year= 80 women by Age 39. 80 women plus the 21 I’ve already been with, helps me reach my goal of 100 (101 actually). I think I’ll start prowling some college campuses, see if I can pull some threesomes- knock off some two for ones.

    Posted by RA | March 14, 2013, 7:32 pm
    • Prowling colleges will NOT get it done. Look to bars where women in their 30s are plentiful. Women in their 30s are extremely easy. Also, 21 partners so far is good, but not nearly enough. 100 might be out of the question, but never give up. Finally, do not live your life with the goal of getting married. Way way overrated. Stay single, have girlfriends, make money, and live. Marriage is not all it’s cracked up to be. After a few years in, you’ll be looking at all the opportunities that have come to present themselves that you cannot act on. I met a woman in a bar in Yuma who was to die for, and I mean TO DIE FOR, but alas, I could not, due to being married. Don’t get married. Also, consider this: how many married men have tried to convince you how great it is? I’ll tell you how many – NONE. Marriage is good for the woman, and frustrating for the man. Don’t do it.

      Posted by JohnM | May 12, 2013, 1:58 am
      • This sounds like GREAT advice, and more up my alley of where I feel I am in life. I’m about to turn 30 y. o. in October 2013, I think in autumn I’ll actually have one of those “Professional jobs” where I’ll be able to get my own place and not have to live with other people, one of my major goals of publishing my novel should be completed by the end of Summer 2013, and I plan on spending this summer working out and getting my body in shape again (I picked up about 20 lbs of fat from my mid to late 20s). I say all of that to say that my confidence is once again starting to build, and I’m almost ready to get back out there and reintroduce the world to the man that I want to become. I’ve been feeling like I “fell off” in my 20s, so I plan on using my 30s to get back on the horse.

        Posted by RA | May 22, 2013, 7:29 am
      • lol Im a 43 year old woman and marriage was not good for me it was necessary for the children to have a secure home life but that is all it did for me and barely that. It was good for him because he had someone to take care of him. He has always been like one of my children that need fed and cared for and taken care of not sure how this was at all good for me. And I love sex and he only lasts a few minutes and is done so that wasn’t even good. I would say get married if you want a family and a settled life. If you want to have fun and your freedom marriage is not the way to go. That’s my opinion and that’s for people not men not woman but people in general.

        Posted by VictoriaT | October 14, 2013, 9:24 pm
      • Your number is high for your age and I would stop why ahead and don’t listen to johnm post. You take that road and you’re on your way to get an HIV. WOMEN IN THEIR 30’S ARE NOT EASY. That is basing on assuming they are over the hill. When many women in their 30’s are very attractive cause they are seasoned. Many are career oriented by then and except a guy to have a great job. I know cause I’m in my 30’s. If you are getting them into bed, it’s because you are lying to most of them to do it. Alot of young girls in their 20’s are. I know cause I was 20 once. I spent 13 years of my thirties with no one else.

        Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 6:53 pm
    • Lol

      Posted by Tammy | July 29, 2013, 7:33 pm
  15. Well, I’m 27 and I had only 3 girls and actually I did not even had more than a one month relation. Actually two where one night stand and one was a one month story where she literally told me “we just had sex together”. I wish my future will change I’m so frustrated but I’m always myself and not lying or bearing people I dont like.

    Posted by Nico | March 19, 2013, 9:32 am
  16. I’m a 30 year old male and I’ve been with 43 women in 15 years. In that time period I’ve been in 3 committed relationships for a total of 5 years so I guess the average is about 4 a year. I think any attractive woman my age quoting below 20 is an outright lie since most I have met have had more than one ‘relationship’ a year, date frequently or have multiple guys in orbit. However, I’ve noticed some women tend to come back to me in between their relationships because they don’t want increase their number!

    Posted by raf | April 3, 2013, 11:42 pm
    • Also men vary wildly in their numbers. I seriously think 20% of the guys are having 80% of the women. I suspect the guys with the highest count have positions with high publicity or work with constantly changing pool of women – so restaurant workers, door guys, promoters, bartenders, military, cops, volunteers, anyone with groupies like musicians, salsa instructors, pro athletes, etc…

      Posted by raf | April 3, 2013, 11:50 pm
      • You’re probably right. My husband says he’s been with only 3 women in his life. He isn’t ugly either, just introverted.

        Posted by No wild oats | January 13, 2014, 12:53 am
  17. I’m a 24-year-old male and have had 4 sexual partners since age 16, including a one night stand. 2 of my ex-gfs told me their count: D. had had 18 partners by age 20, and M. had had 28 partners by age 24 (you can’t say they weren’t honest). They admitted, though, that they would tell a smaller number to most people. My point is, men tend to over report and women tend to under report. Do you think the statiscians considered this effect?

    Posted by Tom | April 8, 2013, 7:25 pm
    • I think you’re number is very healthy! I’m (female) with Nr 4 now and hopefully he will be my last. I think men and women are too easy and give up to easy.

      Posted by Annabel | June 19, 2014, 7:51 am
  18. I have had sex with around 45 females. I am 21 year old male is that bad? Girls just love my dick. I have only performed oral 6 times.

    Posted by J | April 9, 2013, 10:57 am
  19. Lmao at everyone thinking something like, ‘Oh these numbers can’t be true because I, one person among 7 billion, have had X amount of partners. Therefore I am the average’ and ‘I perceive my acquaintances to have had the same if not more, although I have no proof.’ These people either aren’t very bright or joking, and in either case probably overestimating. Quite obviously, too.

    Posted by rpr | April 9, 2013, 5:03 pm
    • Mmmmm…….not so sure about your assumptions either for that matter. By the very nature of the subject matter, there are going to be a whole lot of people who do not answer truthfully for a whole bunch of reasons. So really we all only have our own experience to judge these things on. But it seems from this and other surveys that the more educated you are, the more travelled you are, the more you earn, the less religuous you are and the less concerative you are, the more partners you have had. And as we all tend to associate and socialise with similar people to ourselves our perception of what is normal will be quite different.

      For my part I am an educated, travelled, non-religious, liberal who earns reasonably good money. I am 44 and have been married twice (interestingly over 70% of our friends have one or both partners who have been married twice). I have had well over 120 partners, my wife has had around 100, and the average for the friends that we know about (maybe 12-15 people in our social circle) is up at around the 75 mark. In the main these tend to be successful people – lawyers, businessmen, doctors, architects, entreprenuers and the like.

      As you say the average is taken over samples from millions of people, so it means there are other groups within the sample who are are celibate, or have a single life partner, or who never engage in one night stands or casual sex.

      So an average is just that. But that does not mean any of the respondents are necessarily lying. It just means that your experience is not their experience. I don’t live in a city. I live in a single suburb, so when someone asks me about my view of my city, my answer is going to be very different to someone else who lives on the other side of town.

      But for the record, I have to say I am very happy with my experiences. and I say that without making any judgements about anyone else’s.

      Posted by AUSSIE TICKLER | June 4, 2013, 10:53 pm
      • I am always surprised when someone acts like sleeping with 30+ women is normal or anywhere near the norm. It is not. The average is unsurprisingly under 10 because normal human beings, which comprise the vast majority, are nowhere near as promiscuous as the typical prostitute. I mean, 100+? That is just fucked up.

        Posted by Nark | June 22, 2013, 3:00 pm
      • By the way, you and your friends are punters, right? That would fit in with the whole image of wealthy professionals in their 40s executing all of these lays.

        Posted by Nark | June 23, 2013, 5:12 am
      • Thank you for your comment, makes me feel a whole lot better about myself bring 49yrs and female, because my much younger fiancé freaked out about my 90+ number

        Posted by Lin | October 8, 2013, 8:33 am
  20. I am a 44 female. My reply will take longer to read than some of my sexual encounters did. I am facsinated by human sexuality . I have always been curious about the experiences of others and how I compare. Most of what I know is a result of “deck therapy” sessions- aka women and wine evenings! I consider myself to have had few partners: 6 with a few oral sex binges; if those count. Do they??

    I have thought over the years, about my sexual history and the meaning behind the sexual choices I have made. The first few occurances in college starting at age 18, were likely my need to let off steam as a “girl gone wild”. I was a goody two shoes in HS and at home. As a freshmen in college, I was eager to expand my horizons, not as a scholar. Human Sexualtly was my favorite subject along with the psych/soc classes. Close girlfriends quickly noticed a change in my behavior and thankfully brought it to my attention in a kind and caring way. I did a reality check. My sexual activity was not making me feel any better about myself.

    Married sex: “If you put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex prior to marraige, you will fill it quickly. If you remove a penny for every time you have sex once you are married, it will never empty. Things started out great like so many things often do. Neither of us brought much sexual experience/interest/maturity into the relationship. The outcome of our sex: two beautiful children.

    A one night “fling” at the tail end of the marriage “is what is”.

    Post divorce sex: I am older and I know what I want. I feel more confident about me, my body, my mind. I know what does not work; for me. I would like to try a lot of things with one person I can trust, vice versa. I believe my first experiences were a means to challenge my personal boundaries. I needed to see what I could get away with with no parents around to stop me. I wanted to be popular, feel loved. Those experiences were not confidence builders to say the least, but none the less, something I learned from. Post divorce, I have no interest in repeating another “girl gone wild” episode. Maybe this comes with age and maturity. I look at myself differently at age 44 than I did at 18. I have more respect for myself. I believe a man will see this and treat me with greater respect. Interestingly, I am not overly concerned with the man’s number of sexual partners. His experiences may add some excitement! At least that is what my fantasy world sees!

    Posted by ShaRee | April 10, 2013, 12:11 pm
    • I’m a 36 year old woman thats divorced. My number is 7 so far

      I was married at 20, he was my first. After the divorce I had 2 one night stands then a relationship that lasted for 8 months.

      I was celibate for 8 years — which I don’t recommend by the way.

      then I had 2 more one night stands, a short relationship, and a relationship that lasted a month.

      And I’ve decided to give up — I only ever wanted to have 1 sexual partner in my life — but I can’t seem to find a good match.

      Posted by Elle | May 20, 2013, 4:19 pm
      • Hi i can so relate to your answer i’m 28 year old female and i,ve slept with 7 men and i feel so dirty. I have only ever wanted to have sex with one man so i have also given up. I,ve been celibate for 4 year now and i don’t miss sex at all.

        Posted by jayne | August 13, 2013, 10:28 am
      • I’m 30. Lost my v card at 28. Been with 4 men in that span of time. It’s not the number of people you’ve had sex with, it’s if they are clean/std free and trust worthy.

        Don’t leave the trust and responsibility of your health and happiness up to them. Till then, good luck :-)

        Posted by Suzel | July 7, 2014, 1:42 pm
  21. I am 22 years old and last night I clocked up number 106. This is not a word of a lie. My group of guy friends (5 of us) all add up to around the 450 mark. We think it’s average and normal but we seem to be ahead of the majority of people. (never had unprotected sex either)
    My concern is when I settle down with someone, I’m not going to feel comfortable telling her my number as it will be ridiculously high. In saying this, I think alot of people lie. I tell girls I’ve had sex with 5 or 6 but when I think about it, thats what everyone says.

    Posted by Mugatu | June 8, 2013, 1:39 pm
    • People lie, but given the conditions of a poll like this one, most of them are probably telling the truth. 5 or 6, or some number around there, is what almost everyone says because it is much closer to the truth than 106. Most famous celebrities don’t even sleep with that many (excepting people like Charlie Sheen). I think the individuals with these astronomically high numbers are either unusually gifted in the art of laying women, or more likely, use prostitutes, which would make it less surprising especially if you have the monetary means to support it. In any case, it probably points to an underlying psychological issue.

      Posted by Nark | June 23, 2013, 5:04 am
      • I ain’t lying with mine, 22 partners, 38 years old and that is counting pokes from when I was a teenager. 13 years spent with one partner. i’m also not interested in sleeping with any more. I’m not having sex unless I stay married or is married or have a wedding date set. I tried for a few years to be more open and not so strict, which grew my number to 22, (10 more guys) but I realize, having sex with alot of people is not for me. I’m the wifey type, long term only.

        Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 6:56 pm
    • By the way, 106 and you have never had unprotected sex in one of those? Very odd….

      Posted by Nark | June 23, 2013, 5:08 am
    • I’m reading all these comments and it’s really sad how selfish we really are. I’m not judging because I myself had a period of sexual promiscuity from age 27 to 41. Probably 10 involved intercourse and 30 more were one or two time experiences involving oral sex. I had mostly homosexual encounters but a couple those were female. I waited til I was 27 to do anything sexual because of religious beliefs. I felt like I was missing out all those years by trying to use self control then went wild for a decade. But I still felt empty despite the sexual encounters. No meaningful relationships developed from any of those encounters. I finally revisited my religious beliefs and re-examined myself. All of what I’ve been taught about abstinence and saving oneself for marriage began to seem right after all. I got depressed and disgusted for not trusting in Jesus in all areas of my life and dropped to my knees and asked him to forgive and save me and give me the right attitude about sex and to put a woman in my life to love and marry and raise a family with and to give me wisdom to raise our children properly and learn how to help them when they, too, grow up and are faced with sex, drug, alcohol, or any other addictive behaviors. It’s all a vicious cycle, but I realize God wants us to trust him and His way of doing things when it comes to sex and pretty much anything else. We grow up treating ourselves like we are our own and can do what we want when we want. But as soon as we realize we belong to God we will start looking at how we abuse ourselves as a problem and then start doing something about it. There are some screwed up sexual situations in the old testament, but Jesus made it clear where he stands concerning how we are to conduct ourselves. We must stop looking to social norms and secular psychology as a guide to how to act sexually and stop making excuses. If we want to be happy we can be if we do it God’s way. I believe there are as many sexualities as there are people and even if you feel you are gay there’s a special person of the opposite sex that is the right person for you once you make your mind up to turn your life over to Jesus Christ. As long as we don’t want Jesus in our lives we all will be very messed up in the area of sexuality as well as other areas. I pray for all who struggle as I have and pray for all to develop the right Godly attitude about sex. I’m posting here because I know where I’ve been and know that God has me on the right track. I sometimes look for discussion forums so that I can tell people that our hope in doing better and living happier lives is in Jesus, not sex or some other addiction.

      Posted by pse | June 24, 2013, 4:10 am
    • I almost threw up.

      Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 6:54 pm
  22. I’m a 26 year old straight male and I have had sex with 32 partners. Also, like most other people, I lie about sensitive personal topics such as these. In my experience, you take what a woman says and double it, and you take what a man says and cut it in half. Though you probably still won’t get the right number most of the time, and each person has different criteria by which they do or do not stretch the truth. A lot of people are liars, and even more people are gullible enough to believe them. Only believe what you experience with your own mind; and leave everything else to fiction, unless you are given a good enough reason to trust its validity.

    Also, if you’ve had over a certain amount, say 50, chances are you have a latent STD, a psychological problem, an unhealthy sexual addiction, or all of the above. Seek therapy as soon as possible.

    Posted by VOR | June 8, 2013, 4:04 pm
  23. I would much rather be in a position of having too much (assuming no STI) than not having any at all…I’m on the left side of the graph, 27 y/o male…Given how well I did financially, academically, fitness-wise I feel like crap being that bottom 10%. I guess there’s something to be said about the search for novelty after engaging so many partners / the monotony of monogamy but it’s one of those chicken and egg problems.

    Posted by Anonymous | June 13, 2013, 11:24 pm
  24. I also find these numbers far too low. I’m a 42yo male and I’ve had about 160 partners, and my friends always tell me I am too fussy! One of my friends (same age) is less fussy and is at over 1000 now.

    Posted by John Doe | June 17, 2013, 2:49 am
  25. I’ve been looking up the average number of sexual partners, and all the results are showing up as this low. I just feel awful about myself now haha. In this past year alone I’ve had about 12 partners, that’s like one a month. I didn’t think it was too much, seeing as I’m in college and just messing around a little, but now I feel terrible. These numbers can’t be right can they?

    I’m guessing that a lot of these are untrue answers. If a guy asks me how many guys I’ve slept with, I get a bit uncomfortable and you might just want to double my answer to get a more truthful amount.

    Posted by sir3n | June 30, 2013, 6:40 pm
  26. Im a never been kissed virgin whose about to turn 34 in Dec. I am not ugly either.. I work in a public place and am told how beautiful I am almost on a daily basis. A few men have run into walls looking at me. I am told I look about 23. I plan to wait till marriage, and the comments here disgust me. To think of waiting all this time and possibly end up with a guy whose slept with even 5 people is disgusting to me. My parents have always taught me that sex is special and should be privy to those who are married. I love my body and myself and am so glad that I was raised not to let others use me. I wish others could have the same… Virginity is something neither men or women should be ashamed of.

    Posted by Nonya biz | July 2, 2013, 4:01 pm
    • Dear Nonya, thank God there are people like on this earth, who appreciate the advise they received from wise parents. You future husband will appreciate and love you for the fact that you saved yourself for him and him alone. Our bodies are Temples of God, and most people abuse and disrespect them, and it is only getting worse. People like you give hope to the many people who are wondering what they should to about this serious matter. I played football in college and could of had any women I wanted to, but I saved myself for my future wife. I just hope all of the women is was with appreciate the fact that I could honestly say that I was not one to the men that took advantage of them, and I hope their future or current husband appreciates that fact as well. Thank you again, Nonya for taking a stand for the right. Most of the responders are disgusting.

      Posted by Robert Joseph Powell | July 25, 2013, 1:04 pm
  27. I started to think about my number… So I wrote every name I can think of and I jotted it down…. After I counted each on the paper I didn’t realize it was so many I’m a 28 F with 24 partners… Even after reading all the comments and the 50+ partners I still don’t feel good with myself having 24

    Posted by Tammy | July 29, 2013, 7:43 pm
    • better to chose only one partner in life till death then only you can have total social life enjoyment .and this will give you satisfaction in life psychologically and sexually .test of sex is same why to change life partner every now and then .if there is some communication gap sit to gather and solve it . divorce is the worst things in life should not be happen with any one else.
      I am 26 years Indian young smart guy i have my this view i am searching nice girl who can be with me till end of my life .i will Mary such like minded girl.

      Posted by Khalid | July 2, 2014, 2:32 pm
  28. This thread of comments sounds like STD central. Come on, guys. I don’t care how you view sex or how you have come to view it, you don’t sleep with 50, 100, or over 100 people. That’s sick, and you should seriously get yourselves checked for HIV, HPV, Herpes, and other infections that don’t normally show up until you develop AIDS or die of cancer. You’re practically asking for death or a life-long infection that CANNOT be cured. Was it worth it? Fucking everything that walks? Grow up. Some of you are a disgrace the human species.

    Posted by Erin | August 6, 2013, 10:43 pm
    • I am with you… we are born here for a purpose.. not to just sleep around. Life can be amazing. I had only 2 partners in my life and I’m 40 … I will never have more.. I am very happy and content.

      Posted by sane | August 15, 2013, 11:09 am
      • Well, all of these people who are talking about psychological issues that some of us have for wanting or actually having a ton of sexual partners- hey, you guys and gals are probably correct. But, don’t we all have “issues?” Personally, I know that I’ve had connections with many different women in my life, but because I was being a wuss, lacked confidence, and didn’t step up to the plate to acknowledge those connections and signs that they were throwing back at me; I didn’t act out on those obvious connections and let opportunities slip away. Hey, maybe those opportunities would have led to more, maybe they wouldn’t have. But personally, I’m dead tired of dying in my heart and soul over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again because I’m not living the life I want to, out of cowardice and fear. I’m tired of looking into a woman’s eyes, knowing and feeling EXACTLY WHAT SHE’S THINKING, KNOWING WHAT HER EXPECTATIONS ARE OF ME IN THE MOMENT, FEELING AND CONNECTING WITH HER SPIRITUAL ENERGY… and STILL, LETTING BOTH OF OURSELVES DOWN BECAUSE I’M TOO MUCH OF A MAN-BITCH “MITCH” TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Call me having a psychological if you want. YES, I HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM. I live the life of a coward, but I have the soul of a champion, but instead of living life as Superman, I keep choosing to live like Clark Kent. I know what the problem is, I know how to change it- start living life as I truly desire, as I truly am. So if I want to have 79 more partners at least, so what?? That doesn’t make me some type of less than person, THAT JUST MAKES ME HUMAN. Maybe my life is meant to be different than yours. Don’t judge me.

        Posted by RA | August 16, 2013, 4:03 am
      • I tried

        Posted by Suzel | July 7, 2014, 1:55 pm
    • I agree with you. i was shocked. and I thought my measly 22 at 38 was high, (even the little pokes i counted). lol. I’m also very strict and actually have sex maybe a few times out of year, like 5 times total a year. I’m a very beautiful woman and get alot of attention from me but very rarely say yes. I brought it off with two of the guys, after they failed to tell me they had multiple partners at the time and had slept with 100 women. I was pissed off. they were anxious to enter a relationship with me and have unprotected sex, once they heard my history and yet they were a health risk for me. that was enough to send me back to only wanting sex after a many months in and married or engaged first.

      Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 7:02 pm
  29. I’m 40 and I lost count near 200.

    Posted by zippymeup | September 5, 2013, 4:24 pm
  30. Interesting thread here. I think it is interesting that we are all a product of our environment, our up bringing, our emotional, psychological, and physical attributes. They mold us into what we are. The experiences that we have over the years continue to set the path that we end up walking down. Habits form over time and for reasons that are different for each of us we continue down these paths, sometimes in directions we don’t want to go. For some, the sex is the goal, for others it is the excitement of something new. For others, you will find the manipulative and seductive achievements providing the emotional sense of accomplishment. For some, it is a little of everything.

    For those truly interested in learning and being with those of the opposite sex and use the sexual interactions, sometimes short and sometimes long, to be the conduit to that goal it can be said that those people will truly be in tune with how the opposite sex “ticks”. However, they may not have the emotional fortitude to see themselves as whores or promiscuous beings, nor perhaps should they have to. No one wants to think of themselves as this or that or be shown in a bad light when they look into the mirror at their souls. In my mind, you do what comes natural based on what makes you feel happy. The only person to judge you should be you. Not everyone’s moral compass is pointed in the same direction and what applies for one should not have to apply to all.

    A wise man once told me “In life and sex, those that can…do, and those that can’t…..wish they could”. I was lucky, at least in my mind, to be one that could. The number of sexual partners that I have had is comparatively staggering at over 600 and I am sure I am in the top 1% worldwide. This is said with a flat tone and in no way am a I proud, nor ashamed of that number. Bear in mind that I have never been married and I am pushing 38. This was my choice for the most part due to school, work, and travel but almost married at 24. I many ways I wish I had for I do miss that woman and think of her often. I have averaged anywhere from 3 to 5 a month or more for the last 20 years. Some months there were more and some less. I didn’t really try all that hard. I didn’t wake up everyday and say, “hmm, who can I bang today?” No, not at all; it just has never been that hard for me to meet or talk to a woman. My parents raised me to be a somewhat humble but confident, respectful person and to be attentive to others in sympathy and empathy. I am not a super model by far, but I am told I am handsome with a confident Southern Charm and overall respect for men and women alike. I am average height with an athletic physique. I can’t tan to save my life and really don’t try. I have a great job and a decent amount of money in the bank but by far not a millionaire. In my spare time a few years back I completed a Masters Degree at a reputable University. I have traveled the world and been to places most people have only dreamed about. I can cook, I can clean, I garden, I paint, I skydive, I snowboard, water-ski, scuba dive, wine taste, speak a couple of languages, hike, off-road, and the list goes on and on. I guess the point is that I did my best to live a fruitful life and to be an interesting and healthy person. But the reasons for my thirst for life was that life was short and I wanted to experience many things. The same thought process applies to my love for women. There are so many different forms, shapes, and colors of beauty all over the world and I wanted to experience them. So I did.

    At the end of the day, I have tried to be safe and to avoid STDs; and I will admit I am lucky with my somewhat reckless abandon even though I practiced safe sex. I also find myself finally luckily and am now, in a relationship with a woman that I hope to marry. I have been faithful, though, on occasion I am tempted. Old habits die hard and the habit of having many partners is no different. For a few I am sure they can turn the switch off, but for some it can be difficult.

    For those that have inner turmoil with their chosen path I would say let the societal answer be a loose framework, but choose your own answer. When you decide you need a new path, look yourself in the mirror and decide to change and work at it every day. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you wont change in a day. You may have hiccups, but don’t let it set you off your new path to being the greatest you that you can be.

    Perhaps you wont find my answer in the text books; but then again, perhaps that is how I like it and how it was meant to be. And if it led me to the woman I am with now, happily together, then it was worth the trip. Cheers to all and good luck…..

    Posted by Rick | September 29, 2013, 8:02 pm
  31. My 21st birthday is next month, and I have had sex with four people. I have had oral sex with 8 people though, and I have madeout with 28 people. (There is some overlap there). I wish my numbers were lower. I’m married now, so I don’t plan on having any more sexual partners, but my past embaresses me. I had my first kiss at 14, oral sex at 17, and lost my virginity at 18. At 17 I had kissed 4 people, at 19, 28. 90% of the people I was involved with were in one wild, one year period, directly following my brother’s death. He died of an overdose in the same room with me, and he left a big hole in my life. That’s not an excuse but it is a fact. To some people I am a whore and to others I’ve barely dipped my toe in the water. I have friends who are the same age as me who are still virgins, and some who are only a little older, but their count is 70+ No, they aren’t just exaggerating. I know them well, and could name off alot of their sexual encounters by memory. We don’t know all their partners names, and when making a list have sometimes resorted to terms like “Atlanta businessman” and “Asian guy with kitty ears”. I know the name of every person I’ve ever kissed, but I still regret many of my encounters. There is nothing I can do to change my past though. I just hope my current relationship lasts because the idea of being out in the dating world again is horrifying. It is full of lies, manipulation, and regret. Not that I blame everything on the men, there were definitely times when I was just in it for the ride, but there were other times when people played with my heart, and strung me along, for no reason other to be cruel. Liars and cheaters don’t just do it for the sex. I offered most guys friends with benefits, and open relationship situations, rarely pushing for exclusivity. I had men tell me over and over they wanted more, they cared about me, they wanted a relationship, they were serious about me, wearing me down until I said, okay, let’s be together, only to cheat at the first chance they got. That is just cruel and messed up. I finally found someone who really seems to love me, but I am so messed up inside from all the guys who’ve screwed me over, it is hard to believe in him. I am lucky that he is very understanding and sweet to me. To all the people who say they have had many partners, I am all for having consensual fun, but just be honest, guys. Don’t pretend it is something it is not. You can really hurt people, and leave lasting scars.

    Posted by JustAGirl | October 9, 2013, 10:27 pm
  32. This thread of comments sounds like STD central. Come on, guys. I don’t care how you view sex or how you have come to view it, you don’t sleep with 50, 100, or over 100 people. That’s sick, and you should seriously get yourselves checked for HIV, HPV, Herpes, and other infections that don’t normally show up until you develop AIDS or die of cancer. You’re practically asking for death or a life-long infection that CANNOT be cured. Was it worth it? Fucking everything that walks? Grow up. Some of you are a disgrace the human species

    Im a never been kissed virgin whose about to turn 34 in Dec. I am not ugly either.. I work in a public place and am told how beautiful I am almost on a daily basis. A few men have run into walls looking at me. I am told I look about 23. I plan to wait till marriage, and the comments here disgust me. To think of waiting all this time and possibly end up with a guy whose slept with even 5 people is disgusting to me. My parents have always taught me that sex is special and should be privy to those who are married. I love my body and myself and am so glad that I was raised not to let others use me. I wish others could have the same… Virginity is something neither men or women should be ashamed of.

    I guess i agree with the above two comments..People who have had more than 100 and 120 are absolutely desperate and sick. and immoral..and dont understand how to be patient..Its as simple as that..

    Posted by Kartik Venugopal | October 11, 2013, 9:07 am
    • So Kartik you stainless angel – how did your judgemental self find itself on this blog.

      Get off your high horse.

      Please.

      Posted by Joe | October 18, 2013, 12:58 pm
      • She’s free to have her own opinion, Joe. No need to piss in her Cheerios.

        Posted by No wild oats | January 13, 2014, 1:03 am
    • Ur awesome. I’m in love with you already. Sex is indeed a very intimate act and should not be abused. I’m not an ugly guy, and I had many opportunities to have sex with girls. But for some reason I know not, there was always this stop in me, it did not feel right. So I never went through it. I only had sex with my ex girlfriend. Who I was very intimate with and loved. After we broke up, I just never had sex again, I guess I’m waiting until I meet the right girl. Cause I know when I do, all other women will just not matter, there will be no need for this sex thing with other people.

      I sometimes regret, that maybe I should have been more like casanova in the past and maybe I should be like that now, especially I see all the young people having sex liberally. But I can never get off this instinct that it just nor right somehow, I dont know why. Just feels dirty. So girls get really surprised when I decline them, and offended, that perhaps they think I find them not attractive or something. So they never end up calling me again after, or if I do call them after two or three dates, they dont understand why I keep contact with them, and act distant. They usually stop talking to me after they find a dif guy who sleeps with them. But it is not that, its just it does not feel right to have sex when I dont even know you.

      Anyhow, I think the same standards of treating sex more then just a pleasure act should be applied to guys and
      girls. I personally do not respect manwhores, nor will I ever be friends with a man who has committed adultery.

      Posted by Alexander | December 4, 2013, 11:04 pm
      • Damn bro I feel the same way
        I’m not bad looking and have a physique to kill for(5’8″ 200pounds with 12% bodyfat) .
        I have girls offering to sleep with me really often
        Instead of sleeping with them I politely decline ask them their address on facebook. I then take a snapshot of their face and keep it in a hidden folder. This shows me the amount of sexual partners I could have had. So far this list has 48 pics of women. Every time an offer comes up and I decline I feel more powerful and the person I’m waiting for more special. I am 22 years old and I am waiting for a girl/woman with similar thinking. I feel sex is the most intimate physical act you can share with your partner and if you have it with just about anyone you are making your partner less special. However I don’t proclaim this to be a new commandment or anything, just the way I think. Good day everyone

        Posted by Still waiting | August 1, 2014, 7:05 am
  33. I thought we were human beings, not animals

    Posted by 12 | October 24, 2013, 9:43 pm
    • I don’t understand how people can have 25, 50, 100 partners and not be damaged by this level of promiscuity, both emotionally and biologically. It seems these people have reduced sex to a sport or contest. How do they connect and build intimacy, if sex is treated so casually? Biologically, I would be disgusted to use a computer keyboard or phone that was used by 25, 50 or 100 people, much less have sex with that many people.

      Posted by draper | October 25, 2013, 7:57 pm
      • 22 is not high for 40 years old. especially if you are investing a year into each relationship or 3 to 6 months in each or most of them and it doesn’t work out cause of them cheating and lying, and if you are counting even one poke in you or just oral like I am. One guy got mad cause I broke it off cause he wanted to sleep with me and his babies momma and admitted he had 100 partners at 32 years old. He screamed me and said, ‘how dare you talk to me like I’m a slut or something.” I was shocked. cause he was. He looked like robert patterson from twilight so he felt justified to sleep around. I look like a very beautiful version of angela bassett and turn heads every where I go and I don’t sleep around. lol

        Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 7:09 pm
  34. A very interesting blog. We are all different with many ideas about right and wrong, normal and abnormal. The survey could be very accurate. The many many people with 1 or no partners in their whole life are (apparently) not reading this blog! I will not say what is right and wrong, or what the danger of STD are, or are not (but I will say that death rates from STD in North America are only a small % in relation to car driving or even down hill skiing). I direct medical research at a major university and my wife is a physician.
    I am 65 years old and have been married to one woman for the last 41 years. When we married we were both 22 ans we both had sexually been only with each other. When we were 40 we decided to sexually enjoy other partners (we became swingers). We have stopped counting at 100 others partners, who know the current count (we don’t count). Having other sexual partners has been positive. It has made our marriage better and not worse. They all have not been positive, but the far majority have added to our quality of life.
    This is just one blog entry. It is the witness to our experience.

    Posted by Tim | November 5, 2013, 4:25 pm
    • Great reply, Tim. I’ve dabbled in the swinger community and I think your sentiment mirrors the overall mindset (which also mirrors mine). One man’s moral conflict is not necessarily another’s. For me I’m straight forward and clear about my intentions and everything is consentual. I am engaging in sexual behavior which seems “normal” or natural to me. That’s good enough for me to do it and I do not have one iota of conflict about it. Just like abortion, homosexuality and such. I personally am opposed to abortion and if I impregnated one of my flings I would vote against abortion if my opinion had any weight because it doesn’t set well with me and my notions of God. But casual sex to me is another matter.

      And the STD argument is extremely poor. I got chlamydia in my late 20s when I was much more sexually reserved. I am far, far more permissive sexually today and have contracted nothing that I’m aware of. I probably carry HPV and herpes virus (most people do from what I understand) but have not had herpes outbreak nor have I ever had warts. I’m not going to stop driving a car because once in a while someone gets in a car accident and dies. Nor am I going to stop enjoying the pleasure I derive from having casual sex because it’s remotely possible I might get HIV.

      Posted by Alex | August 12, 2014, 7:49 pm
  35. Having read many of the comments here, I’m thinking that there is a tendency for people who believe their number of sexual partners to be high, to seek out information about what is “normal” and what is above that. As someone with a lot of interest in the topic of human sexuality, I’ve spoken to many people and done a fair bit of research into the subject…and I would say the people quoting 50, 100 and above partners ARE the exception vs. the rule. The research supports it. I’m not judging — to each their own — but that also doesn’t mean you should be living in denial and claiming that everyone surveyed is merely lying. I don’t know very many people who have had even 50 sexual partners, let alone hitting the 3 digit mark. Kudos to you, but your numbers are your numbers, and not necessarily representative of “everyone else”.

    Posted by sambody | November 30, 2013, 9:16 pm
  36. I just saw the movie ‘What’s your number?’ and have done exactly as SAMBODY suggests! I started googling average number of partners and started to freak out!. I’m 42 years old, have been married and had kids. I lost my virginity at 17, and am in my second ‘long term’ relationship of 5 years. I’ve made my list and average about 1 or 2 per year before I got married. Then a whopping 8 the year after the divorce, a few the year after, and I’ve been with the last one since. My number is 35. It seemed very high before reading this post. But I feel better now ;)

    Posted by Selby | December 27, 2013, 5:29 pm
  37. I’m 23 and I have slept with over 100 girls. I was reading a few comments below and I to can’t find any excitement from sex anymore unless it’s with someone new. I fell in love with a girl but I can’t help but for fill the need for different girls. Is this a problem ? Is there anyone I can get help from ? I find myself having meaningless sex. And I can’t talk about this with anyone. My friends praise me to much and I can’t talk to my family about this. I’m not proud of this i just no I have a serious addiction for new and multipal girls. If anyone has overcome this problem please post how they did it. I have lost someone I love and keep falling back down the same path

    Posted by Not telling | January 10, 2014, 2:25 pm
    • Not Telling,

      I read your comment and just wanted to suggest to go to a therapist. Are you in college? If you are, you can go to the university counseling center. Sex addiction is like any other addiction – people fall into them because they want to escape from pain or to avoid dealing with something difficult, and the addiction offers a temporary relief (while in the long run damaging your life). A therapist can help you dig underneath the addiction to the root cause, and help you find solutions and healing.

      In the meantime, you can google sex addiction causes and see what information comes up. There are many causes for it – it could simply be an addiction, or it could be caused by a troubled relationship with parents (in particular, females with distant, absent, or abusive fathers often fall into promiscuity due to the subconscious desire to seek the male approval and validation she never got from her father, which is critical to healthy emotional and psychological development), or also from being sexually abused (people who are sexually abused can sometimes try to normalize the abuse subconsciously by sexualizing it and recreating it. They also lose value for themselves and believe the only way to feel acceptance and love is through sex). There’s a plethora of research and information out there, so it will help to just start reading about it and take an honest look at yourself and your life story in order to trace the origins of your addiction.

      Good luck to you – I wish you all the best and hope you find healing and answers. You seem to have a sincere heart, which is a great gift and blessing. Sincere hearts always find their way because they are open to truth and guidance. :)

      Posted by Sakina | January 16, 2014, 10:31 am
  38. I’m at 24 now… the last one was an ole lady with a phat ass who claims that she’s 33, lol. It was great. I came pretty hard. She said she came too. GOOD TIMES.

    Posted by RA | January 23, 2014, 7:33 am
  39. 6oral partners means you have a greater chance At cancer ?? I jus don’t believe that. I am not sure about this chart.

    Posted by Krystal027 | January 23, 2014, 9:09 am
  40. I’m 25 years old, and my number is at 9. And 6 of those were in a one month period after a long relationship, which I regret all but 1 of. I really don’t want to get past 10, so I’m trying to make sure the next person I sleep with is the one. I don’t really judge people by the number of partners they’ve had. Just use protection and make sure to be tested regularly. Casual one nighters aren’t for me, but some people prefer them.

    Posted by Anon | March 3, 2014, 6:30 pm
  41. I really need to say this….. I do not understand why males or females false believe they “need” to have sex!!! sex is not a need and having to many different sex partners is filthy and pathetic. Sex is intimacy sex is wonderful but what most doing is “straight fu****’ and this is filthy and makes room to spread STD’s. Many sex partner can cause servile problems to a females body because the guy goes “inside” a females body. STD are real and let me tell you all something. You can get STD through ORAL SEX just as much as through intercourse so do you use a condom? well pray that you didn’t get anything while you gave him head or while you eat her!!!! ever heard about HIV and how to contract HIV. You all need to understand when you sleep with somebody you have sex with all the people that person had sex before you. so lets say the girl you meet hat sex with 25 men well each man had sex with 25 females then you have sex with 624 people while having sex with that one person that’s filthy. Now let me tell you this lady’s listen up. I’m married and yes me and my husband have “unprotected sex” I got pregnant well what I didn’t knew was that I had a std that my husband passed on to me because he cheated. Well the end of this was I lost our child due to this STD and STD can make a female infertile and a male infertile. So please don’t think you do yourself or the world a favor by having many sex partners because you don’t. Many have STD and don’t know it. some have HIV and still sleep around unprotected. To many sex partners causes illness and cause death. Sex was made by God and he made sex ONLY for married people. But then some foolish male once said a male need more then one female it’s his nature so males start cheating on their spouses with other females and those females got comfortable with being used as a sex toy, females got comfortable being the side chick the sideline hoe the stop by hotel for males. I know God knew what he was doing when he said “sex is exclusive” for married people. And if everybody on this earth simply fallowed god’s rules we wouldn’t have cheaters whores easy females one night stand std’s and infertility and much more unpleasant drama. It is so shocking how many females/males so called responsible adults are willing to have sex even unprotected sex with random stranger. You don’t know that person you don’t know if he/she is healthy. Please learn from what I had going through and don’t let people use your body as a stop by hotel it make no difference if you are a male or a female simply because it is not cute or attractive when you had many sex partners and sorry but you are not “the man” because you screwed many females you just like any other hoe. Sex is intimacy and special and should not be shared with everybody that cross your way. me personal I feel disgusted by males/females who change their sex partner more often then they change their underwear. And remember this Condoms ONLY LOWER the risk of getting STD but it doesn’t protect you 100% from contracting one. Lady’s please keep that legs closed no man is worth to get the best of you if he don’t wane marry you he don’t deserve to enter your body. There are “no benefits” from having multiple random sex partners. If you have problems within yourself please seek professional help sex isn’t the way. When you are sexual active you are responsible for yourself and anybody you have sex with. If you know nothing beside his dick size or how her cookie looks like about the person you wane have sex with cut them lose don’t fall for that illusion once reality catches up with you ……you might not like the results/outcome remember you don’t get a reward for doing the wrong things…..God bless

    Posted by angelfire | March 28, 2014, 5:36 pm
  42. 28-year-old female here. My number is 18. Been monogamous for a year and a half now. I don’t know why anybody here would be surprised at the high female numbers. You’ve got men all over the manosphere bragging about how they “pump and dump” because they have contempt for women and monogamy. Few guys these days are ready to settle down before the age of 26 or so. When I was 19 and dating guys my own age as I have always preferred to do, the guys liked their relationships in 2-4 month time spans. Out of 28 sexual partners, only five were one night stands. So I racked up the numbers because I refused to date older and more mature men or give second chances to any man who had dumped me, no matter how much they begged later on. Once I turned 26 and began dating men who were 26-28, suddenly committal men were plentiful, go figure. They were scared to end up alone, the pathetic old guy at the bar trying to pick up 20-year-olds and being rejected. So I picked one. And I have been happy ever since.

    It is a bit hard not to resent men at times for the way they behave and treat women in their late teens/early 20’s. But I’m not ashamed of my number or my sexual history. Some of those I was sad to lose at the time have aged horribly due to poor lifestyle choices in their early years. The man I ended up with is much more handsome and responsible:-) And I’ve dated enough to know that most men suck, compatibility is hard to find, and the grass isn’t greener over there, it’s just newer.

    Posted by Jen | April 27, 2014, 7:50 pm
    • I’m at 30 plus now… I started losing count…. It’s 30 something. The last one was a petite young woman in her 20s. A few years ago, a friend of mine told me that “my type” are petite women. At the time, I disagreed with him, because I find something attractive about various types of women. But now I agree with them. My sexual compatibility, leans towards attractive petite women. I just like the feel of their bodies more sexually.

      This adds to my point of having multiple sexual experiences… how will you know exactly what you like, if you haven’t tried a diverse selection?

      Some people may be better for you sexually than others.

      No shame in my game.

      Posted by RA | April 29, 2014, 9:25 am
      • I’m 55, been married twice. I’ve had sex with my 2 wives, 3 prostitutes and a casual pickup, so a total of 6 partners in my life.

        Posted by John Forester | May 5, 2014, 12:52 pm
  43. After reading these threads, and seeing this outrageous high numbers, I’m definitely sticking by my wifey type ways, a ring on it or married or it ain’t happening. I’m glad I’m married.

    Posted by overallgoodgirl | May 23, 2014, 7:12 pm
    • better to chose only one partner in life till death then only you can have total social life enjoyment .and this will give you satisfaction in life psychologically and sexually .test of sex is same why to change life partner every now and then .if there is some communication gap sit to gather and solve it . divorce is the worst things in life should not be happen with any one else.
      I am 26 years Indian young smart guy i have my this view i am searching nice girl who can be with me till end of my life .i will Mary such like minded girl.
      My email hsekhalid@yahoo.com

      Posted by Khalid | July 2, 2014, 2:36 pm
  44. I’m 24 years old. I lost my virginity at 16 and I’ve slept with 1 man. The same man I am currently married to and have a child with. While my number is low we have sex about every day. Lol

    Posted by Chelsea | August 2, 2014, 11:32 am
    • Chelsea, I am so proud of the two of you, especially you. What a profound statement to make in only a few words. Plato once said, “A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something.” You are no fool, and now look how the two of you have been blessed. You have restored my faith in humanity. Thank you for you wise beyond you years remarks.

      Posted by Robert Powell | August 2, 2014, 5:52 pm
  45. First of all, I think it is important to remember we are all different in all aspects and some of these comments directed at the more promiscuous posters are pretty judgmental. Some people are really into sex and don’t have traditional mores regarding sex; therefore, by dint of that, they’re probably going to be sleeping around a lot more depending on their accessability to sex/ability to attract sex partners. Sex drive, morals and being female (or a male able to attract sex partners) are 3 major factors that make everyone posting here different and if the sex is consentual I think judgmental comments are myopic and narrow.

    That being said, I think the reported numbers are very, very low, most people are seriously low balling their numbers. I had vaginal sex with maybe 6 women in my 20s. I’ve had sex with at least 100 (like probably about 120) in my 30s. I don’t even think that’s a particularly high number, that’s like 10 a year or less than 1 a month. For me sex is probably my favorite thing to do on the planet (and one of the economically cheapest things to do) and so I find women online who are like minded and don’t want a serious relationship. I have a very, very high sex drive, I think sex is a natural bodily function and have no moral qualms about having sex as long as it’s consentual and I’ve been honest about my intentions. And because I’m attractive with a nice build and a good online reputation as being good in bed, I get more opportunities than most men and I take advantage of that. Naturally, I’m going to have a higher number, I don’t understand why I would be judged in light of all I wrote above.

    Posted by Alex | August 12, 2014, 7:25 pm
    • hahaha, too funny. I literally laughed out loud after reading the statement,”…good online reputation as being good in bed, I get more opportunities than most men…” hahaha, just laughed again. Think much of yourself??? How pitiful that you troll websites looking for hookups and to see what the women are saying about you in bed. I, myself, have been told I am the best ever had, but don’t feel the need to share that “prize” with anything that has a hard dick. Yuck! It takes some Low self-esteem when a person boasts that online women are bragging about his prowess.

      Posted by JOKESTER | August 18, 2014, 5:29 pm
  46. I just turned 20 and i’ve never even kissed. It’s remarkable how peoples lives can be so different.

    Posted by 123 | August 29, 2014, 5:23 pm
    • I can not understand how people can sleep with 100+ people, it’s just… insane to me. It makes no sense, what type of idiot would sleep with that many people? What are you trying to accomplish, are you trying to beat the world record? Like, what the hell is sex to them? Just a way to have fun? Just a way to meet new people? Their lust is too high, I wouldn’t sleep with a girl of she slept with 10+ guys, let alone 100+. It’s a personal preference, and I believe that I’m better off with that.

      Posted by Joel Carreras | September 11, 2014, 4:42 pm
      • Joel, you are absolutely correct. What is wrong with these people. They sound like primitive animals. And when it comes to STDs, we know it is a numbers game, and unfortunately they all deserve what they get. It is nice to know that there others who feel the same way you do. I appreciate the comment. I keep on telling my 5 daughter that no one deserves someone who is a used model when it comes to sex partners.

        Posted by Robert Powell | September 13, 2014, 7:02 pm
    • Dear 123, I am so proud of you. it is all about choices and priorities, and it seems like yours are all in the right order. The right person is being prepared for you; someone a lot like you. You deserve that person, and you patience will have paid off. Your life may be different, but it is must better than some of the true confessions we read. I feel sorry for all of those lost people who brag about their many conquests.

      Posted by Robert Powell | September 13, 2014, 6:58 pm
  47. I am a 25 year old female, and I’ve had sex with over 50 guys, and although now I have an STD and a severe case of herpes, I still can’t resist the charm of a sexy man.

    Posted by Jennifer | September 13, 2014, 4:39 pm
    • Jennifer, You must be a very beautiful person to have been with over 50 guys, and unfortunately for you it is a numbers game, and it sounds like you have lost. I hope you find what you are looking for one day, and I hope it does not kill you in the process.

      Posted by Robert Powell | September 13, 2014, 6:54 pm

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: Quanti partner sessuali hanno gli americani? « Sbagliando s’impera - December 4, 2011

  2. Pingback: How common is HPV in the mouth and can you get it by kissing? « Dr. Jen Gunter - February 16, 2012

  3. Pingback: What’s your number? « Like No One's Reading - September 27, 2012

  4. Pingback: What is your number of sex partners? - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 25 - City-Data Forum - November 24, 2012

  5. Pingback: Standard of Living – Part 2 « viewoutsidethepew - January 13, 2013

  6. Pingback: No, We Aren’t | End Times Commentary - August 13, 2013

  7. Pingback: Sex Quiz Partner Camfrog | Camfrog - September 4, 2014

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Recent Tweets

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,640 other followers

%d bloggers like this: