Sigh, where to begin.
First of all, with a sex app for women the man’s position shouldn’t, you know, be listed first. And of course the men are the tigers and women the dragons, because secretly every woman wants to be known as The Dragon Lady. BTW Cosmo interns, the movie is actually Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon so if you are going with this particular cultural reference, at least get it right and use Crouching Tiger/Standing Dragon.
Oh, but hey, I need to correct myself. Because if I know my Cosmo sex positions, this is really the G-spot Jiggy (I snicker every time I write that), it’s just the guy is standing up. Oh, and the 70’s porn spotlight is gone. Because that changes everything, especially for the girl. Rehashing sex positions so you can squeeze out a few more is so uninspired. Although, Cosmo puts the same slutty outfit on the cover of practically every magazine, so maybe that is to be expected.
And my dear Cosmo, it might also be a good idea to learn what the title of the movie actually means. It’s a reference to a common expression that we all have dragons and tigers beneath the surface that can spring out at any time. That’s not what comes to mind when I think of an old faithful position like
doggie style the G-spot Jiggy. A sex position that references this amazing movie should be a little more, uh, ground breaking. Not that I have anything against doggie style, not at all, but for crying out loud, the movie celebrates women warriors. This is the reference you use for chandelier sex.
Cosmo, I’m still waiting for a position that does not require orthopedic consultation and offers something new. Although, I’m not sure what I really expected from the magazine that has 10-year-olds everywhere tugging on their mother (or father’s sleeve), pointing at the November cover in the supermarket check out and asking, “What’s kinky sex and why should I tell my inner good girl to get lost?” Strategically placed, of course, right above Awesome Confidence Boosters.