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painful sex, sex, skin care

Coconut oil: a natural lube

Many couples need/prefer lube during sex. However, many commercial lubricants can be irritating (or just aren’t quite right). Ingredients that many women find irritating are alcohol (most gel based lubricants) and glycerin and paraben (most water based lubes), never mind the stuff they add for smell and taste.

A great option for those who find commercial lubes irritating or are troubled by the fact than many of the ingredients remain unpronounceable to everyone but organic chemists is coconut oil. Yes, the stuff you use for cooking. You can buy it at most drug stores and at Safeway prices of $9 for a massive jar it is also a lot cheaper than that tiny little bottle of Slippery Stuff.

Coconut oil is a solid at room temperature, but as soon as you glop 
a bit on your hands it starts to melt. If you rub a bit quickly in your hands for a few seconds you immediately have a liquid.

Oil based lubricants provide a lot of staying power (they cling well to the tissues), so reapplication in all but the most, uh, robust sessions is generally not needed (although, not that it matters, if you need/prefer more lube, so be it!). Also, because the oil provides a thicker coating than silicone, water, or gel based lubricants it is often preferred by post menopausal women who are not using estrogen or women with increased vulvovaginal sensitivities (such as women with vulvodynia, a vulvar pain syndrome).

You can also use Crisco, but fully hydrogenated oils for sex sounds, uh, well, unsexy. And I am still unconvinced that they are a good idea health wise. Olive oil is also an option, but in general my patients seem to prefer coconut oil. It seems to be a hands down winner in the taste, texture, and aroma departments.

The only down side with coconut oil is that you can’t use it with latex condoms because oil degrades latex.

The other upside of coconut oil is that it works a great moisturizer for dry skin!

What do you think, would you try coconut oil?

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Discussion

91 thoughts on “Coconut oil: a natural lube

  1. Well this was timely, and useful. I am in the process of sorting out whether I have a low estrogen count, or generalized vulvudynia, or what. (Totally miserable, and extreme.) I am getting recommendations for lubrication, but I react extremely badly to commercial lubricants at this point. This gives me something to try, at least, that won’t have anything in it to cause additional pain.

    Posted by That gal with a vagina | October 31, 2011, 8:23 pm
    • I love the idea that it is all natural & non-irritating. It is something that I am already using to cook with so I have a jar in my cabinet. It is definitely a winner! :)

      Posted by Loralie | January 18, 2013, 3:26 pm
    • I react horribly to commercial lubricants…even the ones for “sensitive skin.” In fact, I believe that the residual “left over” of commercial lubes have irritated my vaginal area for several days following use. I have always been very careful with soaps and detergents and never used douches or even wore a thong. I am only 42 years old and have been experiencing this mysterious irritation for several years, with and without lube use. Because I have very few visual symptoms, most doctors just shrugged their shoulders. Besides being in pain, I was getting discouraged and frustrated. After many doctor visits with no relief and thousands of dollars in bills and medication, I did my own research and found the cure for my particular case.
      For my sometimes dry and often irritated vaginal area:
      Once daily, 400 I.U. of Vitamin E
      8 ounces of pure cranberry juice daily
      and Coconut Oil for lubrication

      My theory is that Vitamin E is used for skin care (supple and moist) and cranberry juice is used for urinary tract health, perhaps in combination, I could lessen the monthly irritation. After only one month of this simple, daily regiment I had NO irritation and NO dryness issues! It has now been 6 months! The use of Coconut oil has made sex comfortable and painless. I also believe that the oil gets absorbed into the skin and keeps it moist and healthy. I completely recommend using coconut oil!
      *note about the cranberry juice: I theorized that my urine could be a contributing culprit and when it dripped onto the vaginal area it caused irritation. The cranberry juice has neutralized the urine.

      Posted by Gina | June 27, 2013, 3:53 pm
      • This was so helpful and such a relief to read. I thought for sure I was the only person on the planet who experienced irritation from my urine dripping onto the vagainal area. Going to pick up vitamin e pills and cranberry juice today!
        Thank you!

        Posted by Laura | May 15, 2014, 11:34 pm
    • I feel your pain, my sensitive skin does not react well with lubricants. Coconut oil definitely worked for us. We also use a natural lubricant named Carageenan when we don’t want to get too oily ;)

      Posted by Alexandria | August 2, 2013, 4:42 pm
  2. Awesome! I just bought a shedload of coconut oil. Granted it was to baste the pumpkins for a Thai-style pumpkin soup but this is another use that hadn’t occurred to me…

    Posted by Georgia Lewis | November 1, 2011, 10:13 am
  3. It was delicious! The soup, that is… Let me know if you’d like the recipe!

    Posted by Georgia Lewis | November 3, 2011, 12:09 pm
  4. Are there ANY studies out there considering whether coconut oil used as lubrication is sperm friendly or hostile? I can’t find anything about it, but we love using coconut oil as lubricant and are trying to conceive. Thanks!

    Posted by Tara | February 12, 2012, 12:36 pm
  5. In addition to Coconut oil, the hubby and I have tried Almost oil, Mango butter, Cocoa butter and light Soybean oil. Out of all of them though our fav is the Almond oil.

    Posted by Oubli | February 20, 2012, 6:32 pm
  6. I too have been using coconut oil as a sexual lubricant for the last several months, the exact one from the pics, and love that it doesn’t get sticky or need reapplied at all and I think BF enjoys it better than the store bought kinds too. However we are also trying to conceive and were wondering if anyone has heard of whether this can be harmful to sperm or not conducive to sperms ability to reach the egg easily. PLEASE ANYONE KNOW??

    Posted by Tina | March 18, 2012, 7:41 am
    • I would look at the PH…as that is usually the main issue as to hostility…call a fertility clinic and ask to speak to a Dr. for a quick question. When I was trying I also used raw egg whites…it works but not all that great you have to reapply but it is definitely natural and not hostile to sperm.

      Posted by Brianna | May 5, 2013, 12:11 am
  7. Excellent!!!! I’ve been searching for an article like this for a while now. I’ve been told that because coconut oil is anti-fungal that it helps to ward off yeast infections as well. I’ve not been able to find actual research into this but I am keen on learning. I’ve one more question for you in regards to using coconut oil as a lube, do you know if you can use it in conjunction to sex toys made from silicone? I know it shouldn’t be an issue with toys made from stone, glass or ceramic, but I am curious about the oil degrading the silicone.

    Thanks!!!

    Posted by Woman | March 24, 2012, 10:47 pm
  8. We use coconut oil as a lubricant as it’s extremely good for you. Anti fungal and anti bacterial, it helps maintain the flora of the vagina and doesn’t contain any nasties like commercial lubes.

    Posted by TeeferTiger | May 12, 2012, 10:50 am
    • Great, but does it stain the sheets and towels and I can’t handle the coconut aroma and need a descented version. Has anyone found coconut oil without a scent???

      Posted by teal Cee | May 24, 2013, 2:07 pm
      • If you have a good quality raw coconut oil, than the scent and taste should not be very strong. I have Organic Fiji brand, and it smells very very lightly while in the jar, and I can barely smell it all all once it’s on my skin and out of the jar.As for staining, I’ve never had a problem with it. Just don’t over-do it with too much, and it should be fine.

        Posted by Autumn | September 2, 2013, 8:33 am
      • We have switched to fractionated coconut oil…popular base for massage oils as it is odorless, flavorless, non-staining, and has infinite shelf life…it is liquid at room temperature, so that makes it a little different to deal with, but we like it!

        Posted by BigBadWren | September 18, 2013, 8:10 am
  9. Absolutely love it! We tried it on a whim and will never go back to commercial products.

    Posted by Lovely | June 23, 2012, 6:15 pm
  10. I was just reading about lubricants, and oil-based are supposedly bad for women’s health – can cause infections. But I would prefer natural oils. What do you think about the health effects?

    Posted by Erin | July 3, 2012, 6:51 am
  11. Yes. I had always been taught what Erin has but: coconut oil is good for many things and I like the smell. Now that Dr. Jen, whose blog I have just discovered and like, seems not to be worried about the oil based nature of it, I will try it.

    Posted by Z | July 4, 2012, 9:36 pm
  12. …p.s. interesting about almond oil, upthread. Good. Will try it, too.

    Posted by Z | July 4, 2012, 9:37 pm
  13. it is actually exelent as sexual lubricant, and have been using for months, i enjoyed it.

    Posted by Jansen Silalahi | July 9, 2012, 3:04 am
  14. CO is great for masturbation, vaginal, and anal. If you are used to the super slippery stuff that get sticky or tacky as it dries…CO isn’t as slippery…but it lasts a lot longer…doesn’t get sticky, and has no taste or smell…especially nice when going downstairs…or eating that delicious “coconut creme pie” ;-)

    Posted by High Heel sniffing Bi-Guy | July 29, 2012, 1:31 pm
  15. This is THE perfect lube! My girkfriend uses coconut oil as a moisturizer, and one night while getting it on, we both decided to give it a try as lube-less sex wasnt allowing us ALL the pleasure we thought oil could bring. We were right to try so! My girlfriend and I use it all the time, and it’s so much better than other, commercial lubricants…it tastes, smells, and feels amazing, not to mention that it softens your skin like no other moisturizer…a must for any couple looking for the right lube!

    Posted by Josh | August 16, 2012, 5:44 pm
  16. im still lucky to have my own lubricant and i’m 67yrs.old.. now i need a reason to use it,no hubby.

    Posted by bonnie calvin | August 25, 2012, 9:04 pm
    • Wow, Bonnie, I am so jealous! Did you have any problems during menopause? I get so dry inside, sex is painful, even when using lube. I’ve recently began using the commercial stuff with a vaginal applicator, works really well, but I’m not thrilled with using something with so many chemicals. Started using Abracadbraloe, but still has some chemicals for taste and smell. I have coconut oil, and vaginal applicator, so I think I’m going to try it!

      Posted by sherri | August 16, 2013, 4:00 pm
  17. Most everything I’ve read says never to use oil inside the vagina, because it’s like mixing oil with water and can coat the vaginal walls, so that bacteria can build up. But there are now lubricants that contain many of these natural oils and are approved by the FDA. So I guess things have changed I have tried coconut oil, it’s nice. My favorite though is Yume Blush. (I found it online) It does have some coconut oil, but many of the ingredients are not just the typical run of the mill. When I started menopause, sex was so uncomfortable and painful my husband and I were only
    having sex about once a year. Then I started using Yume and everything changed, my husband can massage me with it which helps me to relax and then we can also use it for sex and oral sex (because it tastes amazing) and it’s not sticky, or greasy, is completely natural and super healing. It has just changed my life and my husband and I now actually have a painless, enjoyable sex life, so I want to tell everyone how great it is…and yes it’s pricey but it’s well worth it!

    Posted by Mary | September 17, 2012, 2:14 pm
  18. Excellent post! Made for enjoyable reading.

    Posted by William Smith | October 2, 2012, 2:59 am
  19. Hi Jen- I’ve just stumbled across your blog post after searching the benefits of Coconut Oil for vaginismus/dispareunia and am very interested to know if you might have any advice for me. I’m 21, and for the past 2 and a half years now I’ve been suffering with different forms of vaginal pain- I was diagnosed and misdiagnosed with thrush, and different vaginal infections, and had on and off suffered with bouts of unexplained outer and inner vaginal pain whether I was having sex or not. Last year I gave up on my GP and went to a Sexual Health clinic which was a lot more hopeful- my Doctor diagnosed me with minor Lichen Sclerosis on my outer vulva, and she confirmed with my thoughts that now, after painful sex problems and infections, while I wasn’t getting infections anymore, my body was rejecting the idea of sex as a pleasurable thing and expecting pain. For this past year I would say that I’ve only once felt the kind of arousal or enjoyment from intercourse that I once enjoyed from a healthy sex life before the problem started. It was and is something I enjoy and want to be able to in my life- but now, due to what I think are muscle spasms and a psychological expectation of pain and rejection of sex with my very patient, and supportive boyfriend, after nearly three years I’ve realised that my libido is almost non-existent and the levels of stress that I’ve come to know, from the problem and other issues in my life, are making the situation seem impossible to resolve. I feel like giving up on sex altogether but the prospect of a life without sex makes me very upset. Please if you have any advice, or anything I’d be so grateful.

    Posted by Molly | October 18, 2012, 8:49 am
    • Molly: I too suffered with vaginismus for many years. I went to http://www.vaginismus.com and purchased the kit which includes a book and dialators..it really helped me overcome my fear of penetration. Although I can’t say I actually enjoy sex now…but I can at least tolerate it. I’m about to read some books by Lou Paget, she’s supposed to be a sex expert and claims lack of arousal/enjoyment is all in our mind. The one thing I CAN tell you is DON’T watch pornography…that’s how my vaginismus started in the first place. Good luck!

      Posted by Angie | November 1, 2012, 3:44 pm
    • hi Molly…i am not a doctor but have been a patient for many years on vaginal pain and did lots of research as my doctors were not informed about this illness.
      I have heard some horror stories of how women have been treated by their doctors.
      I am now 99% cured because I was lucky enough to find the internet …..
      It sounds like you have Vulvodynia….it took a full year of extreme pain for me to learn about this illness that plagues many women…I don’t want you to go though the same thing….you can start learning about it here and see what you think

      http://www.vulvodynia.com

      However for me it was the fascia in my hips that was causing my pain. The fascia had become so tight it was “glueing” my nerves that run between my legs together….basically pinching the nerve constantly ….I felt like my pelvic area was on fire all the time…..I started to see a specialist who massages and breaks down the glue and this releases the nerve….I combined this with will rolling on a foam ball….The type of specialist I saw was a Rolfing specialist….
      here is some info

      http://jenings.com/what-is-fascia.html

      http://www.rolf.org/find/profile/383

      I hope this will put you in the path of recovery…I can totally relate to your story…and I don’t want you to be going though this as long as I did

      Posted by barbra | November 8, 2012, 4:41 pm
      • Hi–I’ve just started seeing a rolfer in an effort to try and work through my vulvodynia. Just curious to know if you’ve had success with this therapy?

        Posted by Amy | February 28, 2013, 5:07 pm
    • Read the book “slow sex”. Valuable resource!

      Posted by Emily | January 16, 2013, 6:44 pm
    • You may want to research your birthcontrol…I have had many issues with painful sex and like you, I thought my libido was so low because of the pain I’d experienced. However, after going off birthcontrol my libido went through the roof in conparison. It may be worth looking into.

      Posted by Megan | May 16, 2013, 10:25 pm
  20. Oh really nice,i use many sex lubes but now i think i will try coconut oil as lubes and i think it have not any side affect,right?

    Posted by Natural Lubricants | November 5, 2012, 2:24 am
  21. Thanks for sharing this information about oil and lube products because honestly, in Boise, it is well needed. Keep up the great work!

    Posted by Steven Jarris | January 14, 2013, 3:33 pm
    • Yay, Boise!! I am 63 YO man looking for anal lubrication. I am concerned about the uncomfortable-ness of it and wanting to have the best experience for both me and any potential partners. Very interesting information here from all the respondents!

      Posted by Gordon | November 20, 2013, 5:33 am
  22. My husband and I use coconut oil as sexual lubricant several times a week. I had been having vaginal irritation and pain that could not be diagnosed. I also seemed to have symptoms of yeast infections frequently, but the doctors could not find the cause. We started using coconut oil and I feel so much better! I also use it for personal lubrication on days I may feel irritated. I’ve read the coconut oil also fights infection of the vagina, and now find this to be true. It also makes sex better. Now, when my husband smells coconut he gets excited :)
    The only down side is it may stain sheets.

    Posted by Phanie mills | January 26, 2013, 6:51 am
  23. An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who was doing a little homework on
    this. And he actually bought me lunch due to the fact that I discovered it
    for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!
    ! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss
    this subject here on your blog.

    Posted by Edgar | February 11, 2013, 5:16 pm
  24. Dr. Jen,
    Would you please tell those of us who have asked:
    1) Is oil safe for the vagina?
    2) Can coconut lead to yeast infection (due to the sugar)
    3) Can it lead to any infection due to the fact that it is not easily washed off
    Thank you for this Blog and especially the coconut oil recommendation!

    Posted by Gina | March 26, 2013, 9:40 pm
    • I am a midwife, and recommend coconut oil all the time. It has no sugar in it, and It is antifungal, so it does not increase yeast issues. It is nourishing and safe for all tissues, including the vagina and the anus. It is not easily washed off, but it is beautifully absorbed and leaves your vagina (and thighs!) feeling lovely.

      Posted by Corina | March 31, 2014, 7:10 pm
  25. The trick is to use “unrefined, extra virgin coconut oil” instead of the product shown in the 1st picture.

    Posted by IQ | April 9, 2013, 5:57 am
  26. I would suggest trying this on rubbing hands before you really get into it as I use it in place of skin lotion after bathing and it absorbs rather quickly…but then I only use enough to coat…not to be gushy…

    Posted by Brianna | May 5, 2013, 12:07 am
  27. My ex GF and I stumbled upon Coconut oil as a lube when we ran out of the commercial stuff one time. It worked better than anything we’d ever used, and we tried a lot of different things. This stuff makes things super slippery and shiny. And never needs reapplication. The relationship didn’t last, but my new girl has become obsessed with it now that I introduced her to it. She talks about it constantly and almost always reaches for it even when we don’t need it.

    Posted by Brian | May 24, 2013, 11:31 am
    • What I need to know is if there is unscented coconut oil??? Also, does coconut oil stain sheets and towels??? Otherwise, it is excellent.

      Posted by teal Cee | May 28, 2013, 1:19 pm
      • I use Carrington Farms Pure, Unrefined, Cold Pressed 100% Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil – Best Stuff on Earth – No Problems What So Ever and I am one of the most sensitive people you can come across – Easy to wash off anything you get it on and its the only lubricant me and my husband use!! we have conceived three children with no problems at all…. Try it !!! you will not be disappointed…

        Posted by El LAhumil | June 27, 2013, 12:34 pm
      • Yes…you can get the best coconut oil in the world (IMHO) from Tropical Traditions online (tropicaltraditions.com.) Their organic virgin coconut oil is amazing for everything but does have a wonderful scent of coconut. If you prefer an oil with no scent, order the Expeller Pressed oil…still organic and still wonderful but no scent!

        Posted by Kristin | May 19, 2014, 7:28 pm
  28. I’m new to this coconut oil thing as a lubricant. How do you make it ?

    Posted by Nola mallicoat | June 23, 2013, 2:09 pm
  29. One of my clients told me she uses it as a lube a long time ago. I love coconut oil for so many things but never thought to use it in this way. My husband and I tried for the first time today and I have to say I’m a huge fan!!! The only thing I did notice were minuscule size pieces of coconut. Not enough that it made it uncomfortable but I was concerned. Is there any chance of infection if used vaginally?

    Posted by gaega | July 30, 2013, 3:34 pm
  30. I have some refined oil that i just tried in the bathroom on my lady bits, but i was disappointed it was not slick and slippery like the drugstore basic lube (with glycols). is the virgin oil more slippery?

    Posted by steph | August 20, 2013, 8:38 pm
  31. Is it safe using if pregnant

    Posted by A. | September 5, 2013, 11:44 am
  32. What if your pregnant??

    Posted by theflintmarshall@gmail.com | September 5, 2013, 7:35 pm
  33. too bad grapeseed and coconut oils dissolve latex condoms…guess I’m going to have to switch to non-latex condoms :D
    Any ladies here looking for a massage? Come to cow town and I’ll show ya what a real man can do with his work hands ;)

    Posted by dlancelot | September 22, 2013, 7:49 pm
    • PS, for anyone reading this, coconut oil is also a fantastic anti-inflammatory…meaning, for prolonged sexcapades, your privates will heal uber fast, in fact, after having 4 hour love making sessions with a few women, they were surprised how they were not sore in the a.m. when they woke up, I told them it’s because of how talented I am, they thought I am a god, and, my dirty little secret? coconut oil ;)
      PS, gotta use a carrier oil like avocado mixed with it in order to keep the coconut oil liquid ;)

      Posted by dlancelot | March 22, 2014, 11:50 am
  34. Can you use coconut oil for anal sex?

    Posted by kryptinight | September 28, 2013, 7:50 pm
  35. My wife and I coconut oil and it has proven to be excellent. It’s all natural, smells great, and provides very good lubrication. Almond oil works well also. My wife got irritated with the synthetic stuff.

    Posted by Andrew | March 21, 2014, 11:41 am
  36. I have been using coconut oil since day one and it is the second best choice after saliva. It is the easiest, cheapest and pleasurable to use. It work well in shower also but for prolong intercourse, one must apply is several times accordingly to the requirement.

    Posted by Sam | April 14, 2014, 11:49 am
  37. I use coconut oil with latex condoms as well but didnt notice any complication so far. Is this ok to use if latex dont break up during intercourse while applying coconut oil??

    Posted by Sam | April 14, 2014, 11:53 am
    • hey Sam, I wouldn’t risk it. The idea is it creates micro tears that sperm and viruses can pass through. Better safe than sorry IMHO, there’s latex free condoms, I find they fit better as well :D

      Posted by dlancelot | April 15, 2014, 5:57 am
  38. Is coconut oil sperm-friendly? My husband and I are trying to conceive?

    Posted by Ana | April 26, 2014, 8:41 pm
    • Ana, I’m not a doctor (PhD in microbiology?), and, coconut oil is food for us, strong possibility it would also make for a food source for sperm making them healthier than normal.

      Posted by dlancelot | April 26, 2014, 9:18 pm
  39. Reblogged this on clearance champange and deep fried love handles and commented:
    I am so getting into stuff like this! Kind of obsessed with coconut oil now haha.

    Posted by megaliciousmilleroony | July 18, 2014, 8:33 am
  40. it is so wonderful and awesome lubricant !

    Posted by Treesa | July 21, 2014, 7:36 am
  41. Coconut Oil is an amazing natural lubricant! It’s super hydrating and slick and really improves my sex life!

    Posted by Georgina | August 11, 2014, 5:42 am
  42. Coconut oil has no dangerous side effects. It’s natural and non-toxic. When heated for cooking purposes, coconut oil doesn’t produce harmful byproducts like other vegetable oils.

    Posted by coconut oil lube | August 12, 2014, 9:05 pm
  43. i already use coconut oil, it’s fab! as a person with a vagina, i appreciate a good lubricant.

    Posted by ollie | September 1, 2014, 12:08 am
  44. We use a Jello jelly bean mold and pour the melted coconut oil into it. After refrigerating the mold, we have these nice little beans of coconut oil that are hardened. When my wife is ready, we insert one or two of the beans and the body heat melts them quickly, providing more and more lubrication as we go. We have also noticed that cleanup of out personal liquids is much easier because it provides a layer that keeps things from sticking. It also leaves our skin very soft and supple down there. She has, on occasion, has issues in the past with yeast infections afterwards, but since using the coconut oil, she has not had any more outbreaks.

    Posted by dadof5 | September 10, 2014, 9:10 am

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